It's hard knowing that one parent that you barely remember, will never be around. They just died to early for us to remember. Sometimes I wish he'd still be around. I mean, I know I can't change it, but I really wish I could. It hurts not growing up with a Dad.
It's weird not growing up with two parents. Your mom is always working to keep up with bills and food for us. So you really never seen mom, but you seen siblings a lot. Basically having only one parent, is basically having none in most cases because the one that is alive, has to work 24/7 just so you have food. Also, when mom comes home with those random guys you've never met before, sometimes drunk, sometimes sober. Either way, it felt like she was trying to replace dad.
Then the questions come along all the time. Like when someone asks you, where's your dad at? I never really know how to answer that. Like how do I put it nicely that my dad died? Then when I finally put it across to them, they have those 100 questions that are really annoying. How did he die? How old were you? Like I hate answering those questions. Then, they have the plea that their so sorry and they wish they could do something, but haven't you done enough already?
Also, it sucks not having a Dad figure around. It sucks not having a guy in your life that shows you how a man is actually supposed to treat a women. No one protects you from those creepy guys walking down the road. Nor do you have someone to scare the boys off with the gun that he might use on one. I won't be able to tell the boys that the only thing they'll ever have to worry about is meeting my dad. I won't be able to have Dad and Daughter time.
Another thing I hate the most, is knowing I won't have someone to dance with at the Father and Daughter dance. I won't have someone walking me down the isle at my wedding. I won't see the strongest man I know crying because my name is officially changed. I won't have anyone to help pick a name for a baby. Neither will I have him holding his grand baby. I won't have someone to take my son or daughter fishing for the first time.
