Dear, my future Beloved

There are two things you need to know about me,

I only plan to get married once,

And I’m a work in progress,

I only plan to get married once. I believe there’s only one woman out there for me. To complete me. And that’s you. I cannot commit the time and energy to worry about another because it will distract from the time and energy dedicated to you.

Our vows to one another begin well before polished shoes and vivacious gowns move along the aisle. Our “I Dos” persist well before articulated from memory before the pastor. The feeling that curls your lips into a smile as I take a knee wouldn’t have occurred that once, and it certainly won’t be the last. The nervousness that streams through the very fabric of your being as the wedding bells ring will feel familiar; much like the first kiss we shared. When I promised to love you through sickness and health, the nurturing quality felt for you began with your first sneeze around me and would only end with your last breath.

And I’m a work in progress. I’m probably the most complicated man you’ll ever know. I will piss you off and irritate you everlastingly. My past wasn’t perfect and the “nuclear family,” is as foreign to me as the Italian language. I’m riddled with flaws and shrouded in mystery. My smile conceals the truth and lies are more comforting than the harsh realities I’ve faced. Some things I do may confuse you, and you may question me. That’s fine. A strong fortress forged over time, my walls are as fragile as emerald blades of grass. My ugly truth is only masked beneath the beauty of my charm. I overthink and overcompensate to fill voids in my heart. But that’s okay.

Because even with all my flaws, my deficiencies and the burdens I hold, I still know one thing with the utmost certainty.

You’ll never find another love like mine. It’s a passion that’s as intense as the sun’s summer rays. An affection as constant as time itself. More adaptable than water and as merciful as a gentle breeze. Its demanding at times and requires just as much care as a flower. It’s hard to develop and if effort lacks, withering into nothingness is inevitable. However, with enough devotion, and with enough care, it’ll blossom into the truest form of beauty. Its presence will awaken something deep within you and challenge your very core.

This love is extreme and isn’t one-dimensional; uniquely crafted to cater to you. You’ll be all I see, the only flesh my hands touch, and the only soul my spirit will feel. It will be controversial. It will be transcendent and provide a greater high then any addiction could supplement.

This love will give you unparalleled happiness. And this love will cause you pain. There will be times when it’s easier to run from it than embrace everything that comes with it. Blinding your soul from this universal truth may seem convenient at times.

Hell, you may even feel this is nothing more than a mistake to begin with.

But let it be our mistake to make.

No path traveled is free of bumps. Hills and mountains exist for a reason. Obstacles do hold purpose. You only know what pain feels like because you’ve felt pleasure. Don’t fear what could happen, embrace what does.

I will not lie and say everything will be perfect, because I’m far from faultlessness: I’m human. My feelings alter my mood and my actions will always bring consequences, no matter how mammoth or minute. Errors are unavoidable and my stability will fluctuate depending on how the earth morphs around me.

I will not lie and say being with me will solve all your problems. I’m not the most intelligent person, and I’m definitely not the most attractive. My charm is partial and my lack of love for money won’t drive me to the most lucrative position. I’m easily distracted and I tend to place the needs of others before my own, which I understand can be just as annoying as it is inspiring. My communication skills can be improved upon and I’m far from the ideal business man. I tend to pride myself on the wrong things at times and my maturity is well… not, we can get to that later.

I have a lot of growing up to do in so many different facets of life. With that being said, who doesn’t? And with that being said, why do it alone?

My burdens are my strengths. My inadequacies will fuel my future success. Where I will cause you sorrow, I will supersede with affection tenfold. That exasperation that froths in your stomach when you’re upset with me will be replaced with a tender warmth that that can’t be replicated. When you feel you’ve had enough, I will remind you that you can never get enough of me.

I’m patient. I’ll wait for as long as it’ll take until you step into my life. I’ll wait until you feel contented enough trusting me with your security. I am in no rush to find you, but once you arrive, destiny has quite the agenda for us.

I hope one day you’ll be ready.

Because I will.

Love eternally,

The reason why you’ll eventually smile.