If you could go back in time and talk to your 16-year-ld self, what would you say? After talking to a few of my friends and family, I have come up with a letter that pretty accurately describes what we would say:

Dear 16-year-old me,

Hey. It’s me. Three years older, but exponentially wiser. Perhaps not from an educational standpoint, but definitely from an experience standpoint. Right now, you’re playing the waiting game. Waiting for Friday to come, for summer, for a prince charming who will show you a whole new world, for friends who won’t leave you at the drop of a pin. Please stop waiting. It will come, and that too, when you least expect it.

A few years from now, you will be a whole new person. You will meet a boy who will change everything. He’ll whisper beautiful words in your ear that will make you finally believe in yourself. His words as wings, you will feel like you can fly above the clouds, and his kiss will take you to the moon. But soon, your flight will have to land back on earth, back to reality. Suddenly, your bed will be your favorite hangout spot, where mascara filled tears run rampant down your rosy cheeks. Trust me when I say that many boys will come in and out of your life, some who care, and some who could care less. You’ll easily fall for the sweet talkers, who will say anything, and I mean anything, just to get with you. Just because he calls you beautiful doesn’t mean you owe him anything, and please don’t trust everything he says. Never let a boy control your life. Your ups and downs should not reflect his presence. No boy is worth ruining your makeup, because let’s be real, you take a long time to that stuff.

And on the topic of friends, you think you know who they are, but you don’t. Trust what mom and dad say about your “friends.” They usually can sense the fake ones before you, because you’re blind by your own kindness and thoughts of what could be. Let me be the first to tell you that it will get so much better. If I learned one thing, it’s that life has a way of removing all the bad to make place for the good, but once the good is there, they’ll never leave. I can confidentially say that I have a group of friends who will always stay by my side. They love me through all the twists and turns of life, and that’s saying a lot. You’ll share millions of laughs, tears, and everything in between and that will only make you closer. They say you can’t choose your family, but I’d say that I found my family by choice and I’d do anything for them.They are my eternal sunshine.

As far as mental health goes, please take good care of yourself. You have a generous heart and like to make people happy, but there's a difference between generosity and being taken advantage of. Be kind to everyone, but don't give so much of yourself away that you have nothing left for yourself. I know you don't understand this right now, but we live in a very selfish world where anyone will do anything to get ahead. When you do good deeds for others, don't except them to reciprocate. If they do, they are worth keeping, and if they don't, please don't be sad. Expectations lead to disappointment.

You're an emotional person. You care so much about what people think about you and want everyone to like you, but know that's impossible. The second you realize this, your life will get so much better. Do things because you want to do them and not because you think you have to do them, this is the key to happiness. People will come and go in and out of your life but you are with yourself forever and the choices you make should reflect your own values and opinions.

The feelings you feel due to your anxiety are valid. No matter how much people say you're overreacting or being "too much" anything, please don't feel like your feelings don't matter. They do, and the people who care will realize this. Whenever you feel a hurricane of thoughts and worries, please take a breathe and realize that it will eventually be okay. Sometimes you might feel like you're alone in this battle and that no one cares, but I promise, whether they fully understand it or not, there are people who have your best interest in mind.

There are so many things I’d like to say, but a finite amount of space to write it. So here’s a sparknotes of my advice to you:

1. Don’t have infinite trust for those who give you no reason to trust them.
2. Appreciate the little things in life: the sun as it travels from the west to the east, the rain drops trickling down your face, the quiet moments between all the chaos.
3. Enjoy your own presence as much as anyone else’s, because whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with yourself forever.
4. Treat your body like a temple, take care of it, treat it well.
5. Appreciate your family. They mean well by their constant nagging.
6. Don’t let anyone control your actions and decisions, because once you give them the control, its so hard to get it back.
7. Party hard and work harder. You’re only young once, but you still need to be able to get a job after your liver dies.
8. And most importantly, enjoy the moments. The big ones, the little ones, and everything in between. And enjoy the people you share those moments with, because you never know when they’ll all be gone.
9. Patience is a virtue and things come when you least expect it.
10. Never give up on your goals and aspirations, regardless of the amount of support you get. While it is nice to have people cheer you on, sometimes you have to fight the odds and prove them all wrong.

I wish I could say that life will get easier and you’ll have the perfect boyfriend, perfect grades, be the envy of everyone who lays eyes on you— but honestly, that’s pretty boring. And I’ve never known you to be boring.

Love always,

Your 19-year-old self