We've all had that one person or situation that is entirely unavoidable. It does not matter how hard you try or how badly you actually want nothing to do with the person or situation; you're stuck. Whether it be your best friend's new "friend" or an oil change, you have to deal with it or you will be stuck in the same position, literally.
Throughout my life, I have always found it very difficult to hide my emotions. My face is a dead giveaway. If I am happy about something you can tell, but if I am angry or upset it is written all over my face. I get worked up very easily. It is probably a mix of being short-tempered and ultra sensitive. It is definitely a personal skill that I haven't quite gotten the hang of yet, but I am determined to get it under control. I find it especially difficult to hide my emotions or feelings towards people or situations that I have no choice but to be a part of. It could be because I am trying to respect a loved one, an authoritative figure, or just simply being in a situation that I do not want to be in such as taking someone's shift because they cannot work when I would much rather have a day off.
You might say "well that's just how life goes," and I totally agree, but it does not make dealing with people or situations that you do not want to be a part of any easier. To properly cope, we all need some kind of mechanism to get through being surrounded by unpleasant people and miserable situations. Something that I am working on understanding is that you cannot change another person's words and actions; you can only control your own. The best thing you can do is self-dialogue when dealing with people who have no self-awareness. I try to keep myself calm and understand I cannot control how this person is acting but I can control how I act. I remember that being the bigger person is not a reward to them but a reward to myself for having the strength to act in a positive manner. You cannot save people who do not want to be saved. It is on them to understand what is wrong with their behavior, not me. It would be a lot easier to simply dish back the same kind of toxic behavior but I won't benefit or grow from doing that.
So, how should you deal with toxic people and situations? Don't. Do not feed into this negative behavior because it will eat you up inside, not the other person. As corny as it sounds, the universe gives back to you what you put out. If you put out negative energy you will only receive negativity back. But, if you can mutter the strength to put out positive energy even when it is difficult, you have won.
