It's sneaky. It comes out of nowhere. It always gets the best people. It's never 'not a big deal.' In 2016, there's projected to be 1,685,210 new cases alone. You know what I'm talking about--cancer. Cancer is the worst thing and isn't easy for anyone. Obviously, the person who has been diagnosed has it the worst, but the family of that person has it hard also. How does one even begin to deal with someone close to them having cancer? To put it plainly: you don't.
Feel ALL of the emotions.
When my momma sat my brother and me down to tell us she had been diagnosed with breast cancer, I instantly went into a sobbing fit. I mean, my mom is my best friend and she, of all people, has cancer? Not happening, dude. I just cried. I cried and cried, and cried, and cried. Then I started to clean to try and keep myself busy, but that only made me cry onto the clean dishes.
Don't try to ignore those feelings. Cry all night long. Get mad as hell, punch stuff, scream. Feel whatever needs to be felt! No one is going to say a word. Nobody blames you for feeling. Don't hold it in until you breakdown somewhere, because not only is that not going to help but it is also not healthy. "That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt." John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
Don't try to ignore it.
You know what makes this super powerful, evil, awful cancer go away? Ignoring it. No really, try it.... Wait, what? It didn't work? Oh yeah, that's right it doesn't! The only thing that will get rid of cancer is chemo, radiation, surgery, a miracle, etc. You acting like it's not happening isn't helping anything. Face it. It's there. it's real, it's happening. Choke down that tough news and start helping.
You are the support.
My mom was so strong while she went through her battle and I was so proud of her-- because I was no help. Every time we talked about it I would just cry or walk away. Don't do that. They are the one that has to battle it, not you. So be helpful. Support them in this fight! Keep them strong, keep them positive, keep them ALIVE!
God didn't do this.
Jesus and I did not get along after He diagnosed my mom with cancer. I was so mad at Him, but you know what I found out? He was fine with me being mad at Him. He knew. He just kept saying, "I got this. I know what I'm doing, but keep being mad if you want to." God doesn't do anything without knowing the outcome. God doesn't do anything that isn't necessary. And that is hard to learn and hard to swallow. Just remember my favorite verse: "You may not understand now what I am doing, but one day you will." John 13:7.
Stay positive.
I played the "what if" game for probably... let's be real... I'm still playing it and she's been "clean" for almost two years now. The "what if" game is not your friend! Do not go there. Do not get on WebMD. Do not research the type of cancer, the mortality rate, the surgery, the treatments, or anything else. You know why? Because those are just numbers! Those are numbers y'all. Shut your computer and look that person in the eyes. Just look at them. Do they look like a number? No. That person right there is a fighter, and they need someone to fight with them. Are you going to step in the ring or are you going to keep looking at stupid numbers?
A diagnosis of cancer doesn't have to be a death sentence. If you have someone in your life that has been diagnosed: be there, be supportive, be positive, and just love them.
