Everyone copes with grief differently. This is important to remember throughout your life. Many people imagine their loved ones going to a better place after their time here; others believe that their loved ones are still here with them in some way, shape, or form. There are so many different ways people cope with losing someone they love, some people cry until they physically can't anymore, some hold back their tears for years, and some hardly even feel much of anything for awhile.
A fact of life is that there is indeed an end to it, but what that entails is still unknown (and it likely will stay unknown even into the foreseeable future). There is no way to know what happens after we close our eyes for the last time, and maybe that's the scariest part for some people; not knowing what is next for their loved one.
To me, that is the scariest part. Don't be mistaken, I am afraid of many things, especially when talking about loved ones passing away, but the worst part is not knowing. A death in the family is almost always sad, and the frightening part of not knowing only adds to the pain; that's exactly why it's important to learn to cope with it in a way that works for you.
To me, I like to remember all the extraordinary things about the person who has passed. My grandmother passed away last week, and my way of coping is simply reminding myself of all the wonderful things she had done.
My grandmother raised seven children, and everyone knew that she loved them. She showed love to them and everyone else every chance she had. She was a teacher for some time and she always told me how much she loved it. Once I decided to become a teacher, I talked to her about that job every chance I had; she was so happy talking about it. You could tell how much she enjoyed it; but not just teaching, she was enthusiastic about just about everything. It's difficult to remember what she looked like when she wasn't smiling, that's just how she was.
I remember looking through old pictures after she had passed away; her family filled the room to shift through boxes of photos. I remember how wonderful it was to go see her. I remember how happy she was when my uncle brought his dog over. I remember how thoughtful and caring she was; always curious about how we were doing. I remember how much fun she had at all the family get-togethers. I remember how much she loved the beach. The pictures filled me in on more of her life: how happy she was on her wedding day; how much excitement she had on her trips to visit my father in Alaska; how much enjoyment and love there really was in her life.
My grandmother loved and was loved by everyone and she enjoyed her life.
Death is inevitable and it is sad, but it does not end love.
Elizabeth H. Kirby will always be loved.
