Everyone has had to deal with people they do not like to deal with. Some people just rub us the wrong way or there is history that we just don't want to repeat. Those people, while we may not like them, are the people that people can deal with.
Then there's toxic people.
These types of people are so consumed with themselves that they will do anything to get what they want out of people. They are selfish, manipulative, evasive, dramatic, lying people. They may seem harmless, even friendly, but don't let them fool you with their facade, their intentions are purely for their own benefit.
Dealing with toxic people can be emotionally and mentally exhausting. Figuring out what is true and what is not is tough, especially when more lies are piled on top of others. Here are some tips on spotting toxic people and how to deal with them.
A toxic person will do anything to have people on their side. They will win you over with compliments and gifts to become your friend and earn your trust quickly. Once you become their friend, the compliments will become backhanded like "wow, I can't believe you have the confidence to wear that, that's good for you" or "you're so cute! I didn't think you could do it". Backhanded compliments that sound like compliments, but feel like insults. They leave you confused as to why you feel how you do about a compliment and make you want to change what you're wearing or doing to make the compliment feel real. They are often too eager for friendship and force it to build and develop quickly.
You'll realize that this person is selfish and manipulative. Every move this person makes is for his or her own benefit. They are evasive and want to know every secret you may have. This is not because they actually care about you, this is because they use it as a method of control in social situations.
The biggest sign of a toxic person is the lies they tell. Toxic. People. Lie. Often. They always have to be right and they are always the victim. If things aren't going their way, they will make is so they do go their way. If something happens, it always happens to them not because of them. They are always the victim. They are constantly surrounded by drama. They thrive on having dramatic, exciting lives. This is how they get attention. That person that you know who always has bad things happen to them is probably a toxic person. They will often embellish their stories to make them more dramatic and exciting. Their lies often avalanche and become bigger and bigger as the lie keeps being told.
Lastly, toxic people never have a nice thing to say about other people and they hold grudges. Have you ever been around someone who gossips and speaks badly about other people they claim to be friends with? Those people are probably doing the same thing to you. And if you wrong a toxic person, they will eat it up. They never forgive and certainly do not forget. They feed off of negative energy and if someone has actually hurt them in some way, they will use that to their advantage.
To handle a toxic person, you must be firm in your boundaries. you cannot let toxic people walk all over you or they will keep walking all over you. Do not share secrets with toxic people as they are not trustworthy. Do not give them sympathy, chances are their story is made up anyway. And lastly, don't be a toxic person. Just because someone else is manipulative and dishonest doesn't mean you have to be. Be who you are and be a good person, you will attract good people too.
