The most difficult part about entering any college is finding out who your roommate is going to be. It's stressful ,and it's scary because your roommate is someone who you have to live with, like it or not. In college, we are coming up on the second semester and by now, everyone should know their roommate and should have figured out how to get along with them. But for those who haven't, heres a few helpful tips.
1. Don't tell on your roommate
The first thing you have got to do is NOT tell on your roommate if you are living off campus. You have to deal with this person for a semester, like it or not. The second you pull out the telling card is the second they can also rat on you. Trust me, you are not perfect. A roommate who you are fighting with will point out all your flaws to a landlord in order to get what they want (which is going to be to stay in a housing place until the semester ends).
2. When problems occur talk it out
Going back to the no telling, it's best when dealing with a person who is difficult- to talk things out with them. Perhaps you can compromise. Sometimes meeting a person half way is exactly what you need to do. For example, if your fighting still over the laundry, maybe work something out where when her clothes are dry, you can place them in a hamper she owns so that you can use it. Also, if you decide to do this, make sure her clothes are actually cleaned because you don't want any more problems.
3. Keep being a nice person
If she is mean to you, continue to be nice. I know it can be hard with a difficult and rude roommate, but honestly, you can get more flies with honey than vinegar. If your roommate happens to have a long debate with you about messy anything, take a deep breath and try to find some time to clean it up. Its not about pleasing you, its about pleasing the roommate so she doesn't become upset with you or vise versa. Don't get nasty or rude with her because you will find no results.
4. Set Boundaries
If it's laundry you are fighting over, still try to work out a solid day when you can do yours. Set limits as to which shelves in the fridge are yours and which are hers. If she can't not touch your food, get a mini fridge to put the most important items. Decide where her things go and where your things go so there is no confusion. Respect her space just as much as she will respect yours. Get in the habit of routine. If you need to set times for the cooking area or what not, then do it.
5. Help her out
Hey listen, we all go through some stuff. We all go through death, friend emergencies, family emergencies, rehearsals, practice, everyday things. If your roommate needs a little bit of help around the place in common areas, sometimes helping her out is a good thing. Just a little nudge to get her pointed in the right direction. Ask her if she needs anything from you when you see her (or him). A gesture from someone can sometime soften even the meanest person. If you notice they have been out a lot then take out the trash for them to be a nice person. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down as they say.
Also try these tips the next time something goes wrong. Additional tips -
- Journal each others thoughts and leaving them on the table for the other to read so you can really see how your roommate thinks. This really helps for communication to see what you are doing wrong in a clear manner. A letter is more upfront and personal.
- Set a line of division. In a dorm room you can take some tape and put it in the middle of the room in order to set who's side is who's.
- Set aside roommate meeting time. When something is wrong go back to the talking it out and tell her we need to meet at this time to talk about how to solve these problems.
- Seek additional help from a counselor. If you need emotional support seek a counseling center on campus.
