Deal Breakers inspired by Liz Lemon:
Our generation needs a wake-up call when it comes to distinguishing between romance and lust. From observing my friends and social media, I’ve come up with a list of things that people should consider grounds for relationship reconsideration. A lot of these seem obvious, but I'm sure everyone can relate or knows someone who has experienced on of the items on the list.
Your significant other refuses to consider the possibility of being in an exclusive relationship. Be reasonable about popping the “what are we” question. This is mainly aimed at couples that experience all of the intimacy and emotions involved in an exclusive relationship without the title. These people feel possessive over their partner, but in reality they have no right to say anything. If you’ve tried to have this talk and you’ve been rejected, there are three reasons for this.
- Your partner was in a (possibly recent) relationship that was emotionally exhausting.
- It is a power move and they want to have the safety net so that they can explore their options. The feeling is not mutual in this situation. Deal Breaker.
- They are afraid of commitment, which is a huge red flag.
Their idea of a date is “Netflix and chill.” In its more literal form, lounging around and watching shows/movies with your partner is great. However, you’re not going to progress in your relationship if you don’t get to know each other. This type of activity does not force conversation or the opportunity to better understand how this person thinks. A sit-down dinner (whether it’s at home or at a restaurant) is a break specifically for spending quality time together. Regardless of your budget, you can manage to go on a date every once in a while. If your partner refuses to go out on dates, they don’t consider your wants or needs a priority. Deal Breaker.
They refuse to meet your parents. It’s a simple right-of-passage. If your parents do not support your relationship, it makes everyone’s life harder. You won’t be able to go to your parents for advice because they will have bias against your significant other. Their excuse might be that they don’t get along with parents or adults, but this is a huge red flag and parents see right through it. Refusing to meet the people who have the most significant impact on your life is selfish and inconsiderate. Your mom is probably right and they need to grow up. Deal Breaker.
Respect. If your partner is disrespectful to you or your friends while you’re dating, it’s only going to get worse as you progress into the relationship. Things are only going to get more difficult the longer you date because you will experience different obstacles. This is a huge red flag and definitely a Deal Breaker.
Your partner doesn’t include you in their social life. You should be able to be friends with their friends and vice versa. Naturally, there are times when you need time with your friends without your significant other, but you should be familiar with the people they hang around. There is no point in sacrificing your time and effort for someone who is too insecure to introduce you to the people that are significant to their lives. Deal Breaker.
They try to manipulate you or become controlling. This sounds like an obvious Deal Breaker, but a lot of people fail to recognize that their partner is controlling towards them. People assume that controlling someone simply means refusing to let them participate in certain things. Manipulation includes passive aggressive behavior, threatening physically or verbally, or any attempt to prevent someone from doing something. This is extremely unhealthy and will only continue to get worse as the couple becomes more emotionally invested.
Cheating. If they have a tendency to cheat or they have cheated on you, that’s a Deal Breaker. That seems pretty self-explanatory, but some people give their boyfriend/girlfriend the benefit of the doubt. People who have a history of being unfaithful will continue to do so; you should listen to your friends or parents advice and move on.
If it makes the list, that's a Deal Breaker.
