A Day On The River
Start writing a post
Student Life

A Day On The River

The joy of summer float trips.

A Day On The River
Sam Crapo

It is that time of year once again. The days get longer and hotter. It is finally summer. You know it's too hot when you start to sweat just walking from the car to your work place. So like every Midwest girl out there, we grab some sunscreen, a swimsuit, your friends and head to the nearest river to float down in peaceful bliss. Below is the timetable of a typical float trip.

7:00 a.m.: The campground neighbors begin to blast music. It is time to wake up, begrudgingly.

7:01 a.m.: Roll over and try to grab another hour of sleep.

9:15 a.m.: Alarm goes off. Time to wake up.

10:15 a.m.: Pack the cooler with water, beer and snacks. Take your first shot and then brush your teeth.

10:30 a.m.: The bus has arrived to take you to the start point of your 9.5 mile long float.

10:45 a.m.: make friends with your friendly co-passengers who have been drinking for the past hour. Gladly take swigs from their outstretched bottles.

11:00 a.m.: Make it into the raft. Hurriedly apply sunscreen and crack open that first beer.

12:00 p.m.: Stop off at a sandbank, eat your lunch, open your next beer.

12:30 p.m.: Reassume your position on the raft, realize that you're starting to burn, apply more sunscreen in hopes of not looking like a lobster.

2:00 p.m.: Realize that applying more sunscreen was futile. You are now really burnt.

2:15 p.m.: Time to take a quick nap and then rally.

3:00 p.m.: After falling into the river and/or being pushed into the river, you begin to wonder when the float is going to end. How long have we been out here? How many miles have we floated? Don't ask anyone else on the river, because they also have no idea.

3:15 p.m.: Ask nearby people if they know how much longer... they also don't know. Grab your last beer, in hopes that the ride ends relatively soon. Reapply sunscreen.

4:00 p.m.: After five hours, the beer is finally gone and everyone starts to drink water. You and your friends begin to ask nearby floaters if they have beer. They also don't have any. Everyone groans.

6:00 p.m.: The end is in sight and you hurriedly begin to clean up the raft that is littered with bottles and empty chip bags.

6:15 p.m.: You finally step on solid ground with sopping wet clothes. Legs and shoulders are totally not burnt whatsoever.

6:30 p.m.: Back at the campsite, you roast hot dogs and marshmallows. Aloe takes a permanent spot in you lap for the remainder of your trip.

Congratulations, you have survived another year of floating with some great people!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

How I Celebrate Valentine's Day

Every person, every couple celebrates Valentines in different ways, but there are a few things to keep in mind.

How I Celebrate Valentine's Day

Ah, Valentines Day, a day of excitement for some and heart break for many. There are three kinds of people on Valentine's Day: the ones who make it a big deal, a little deal, and those who are single, but Valentine's Day can be fun for anyone if you have the right spirit in mind.

Keep Reading... Show less
Warner Bros. Television

1. You don't have to feel guilty about flirting with customers for tips (or just for shits and giggles).

2. You can be obnoxiously flirtatious with anyone you want. You are free to be that girl that flirts with everybody and makes 'em all smile (it's especially fun when the guy is as cute as Collin Jost). No shame.

3. Making random men nervous with your superior beauty and intense eye contact just for the hell of it is really amusing and empowering.

4. No one gives two poops if ya legs are hairy (your man shouldn't either but *Kermit the Frog meme* That's none of my business)

Keep Reading... Show less

Black History Month? Try Black History Year

What does Black History Month mean to you?


African Americans have done so much and will forever be remembered for their accomplishments. In my opinion, there is no such thing as Black History Month. All year, we should celebrate the amazing poetry, music, inventions, and accomplishments that has surfaced over the last 100 years. Let's take a look...

Keep Reading... Show less

A TikTok Ban? Nope, That's Not Happening

We've seen this movie before with the popular social media app.


Here we go again. There's a groundswell of support to ban TikTok in the United States.

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Top 3 Response Articles of This Week

Check out what's trending on Odyssey!

writing on a page with a hand holding a pen as if the person is beginning to write something

Looking for some inspiration to kick off your Monday? Check out these articles by our talented team of response writers! From poetry to tips for manifesting your dream life, there's something for everyone.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments