Since I was younger I’ve always had jaw problems. My jaw used to get stuck open and closed at random times for a prolonged period of time. Luckily my orthodontist was able to fix this with my braces. After that I thought I was all fixed and would never have to deal with my jaw again.
Senior year of high school rolls around (two years after the braces went bye bye) and I began to get really random terrible migraines. Spring semester of freshman year of college I had a migraine for a week straight. I then proceeded to have panic attacks over said migraine and landed myself in a neurologist. I was told I didn’t have a brain tumor and got some hard-core pain meds and was on my way. These did not help, they actually made me quite nauseous instead.
Summer before sophomore year my jaw finally began to reveal itself as the true culprit. Jaw pain began to invade my life. It felt as though someone got their hands around my jaw muscles and was squeezing and then ringing the s**t out of them 24/7. Since your jaw muscles are connected to the two largest muscles on both sides of your head (about the size of your hand on either side) this in turn gave me massive migraines. Intense stabbing pain that would make me neausous and dizzy and would send me into hibernation for days looking for relief in the dark cave that became of my room.
I have something called TMJ or TM (temporomandibular joint dysfunction). In a broad sense, I was constantly clenching my jaw, never letting it be in a “rest” position. What was a resting position? God I had no clue. Forcing my jaw open from its normal completely shut state? Guess so. Imagine flexing a muscle constantly for basically years. You have no control over it, it just happens. Yeah sounds great. My life in a nutshell.
After doing massive research and going to many doctors who didn’t know what to do I found a TMJ doctor (The only one in New Jersey). He gave me a few “solutions” for my insanely under researched and under prioritized issue that was ruining my life. Apparently barely any dentists know how to treat it and it’s considered a specialty and just brushed upon in dental school and there really isn’t much they can do for it. OK cool. Thanks.
Weeks later I left the TMJ Doctors with a bite plate, some ridiculously expensive hollow ear inserts (your jaw connects right below your ear canal so when you clench your jaw your ear canal closes a decent amount so these ear inserts [basically the inner ear tubing part of a hearing aid] keep the form of your ear canal with a resting jaw and then in turn keep your jaw in a resting position). They only help if your jaw is not inflamed and is in good health. I also had some appointments for some physical therapy.
So yes I have a “treatment” and yes it did help some but it did not fix the problem nor did it help it enough that I didn’t have to alter my life and live my life day to day according to my jaw.
So here’s a little life in the day of me. Jess with the Jaw Probs. Basically narrated through my thoughts throughout the day!
Wake up time!
Did I sleep on my back all night? Okay sweet I did (Sleeping on my side is a no no. Too much pressure on my jaw). Time to move my neck around… cool neck seems pretty okay (your neck muscles being tight can cause your jaw muscles to be tight. FUN). Time to check on my jaw *Open close Open Close.* Oh s**t, it's making that cracking noise…. Cool time to go ice it…
*Open close Open close* okay sweet, it's cracking a little less. Little massage on both sides, okay fun.
Okay bite plate out… ear things in… eh jk let's wear both for now. Okay so no hard food this morning so I can make the cracking go away… soooo smoothie (yes I am an 80-year-old woman who can sometimes not eat hard food).
Okay shower get dressed…check on that baby! **open close open close** sweet seems fine!
On to the bus
Gotta try and get a seat. Then I can be relaxed and can relax my jaw! Oh cool gotta stand and not clench my jaw as I clench every other muscle in my body so I don’t fall over on this bus as I hold on with one hand and make a fool of myself. WOOOO!!!
In class
No biting your nails! Bad for the jaw! Oh yes someone offered me gum! I LOVE GUM. Jk I can’t chew gum anymore…. Hurts my jaw… okay maybe just chew it for a few minutes then let it sit in your mouth! Yes good idea! *Five minutes later* bad idea…. Massage jaw in class time…… “are you okay” “yeah I’m fine I have a jaw problem…” “oh that sounds like it sucks”…. “yeah it does.. thanks”…. Back to massaging… woohooo time for a test now! Okay no clenching! We gots this! Oh wait no! Don’t lean your chin on your hand that’ll hurt the jaw (man I should really name my jaw or something). Okay hands on the desk. Or cheek bone. Yes that’s good. Okay sweet! Test time.
Lunch time
Okay feeling okay today. Rub the jaw a few times as I walk to central and I’m good! I can eat anything I want! Drink some water! Hold the cold bottle on my temples a little if they hurt from the clenching.. we all good back to class!
On my way home
Sweet got a seat on the bus! Okay gonna go back and go to the gym! The gym is great! (I breath through my mouth which in turn actually helps me relax my jaw… makes no sense but oh well!) First I'll go back and ice it just to make sure it’ll be good! And I'll wear my mouth guard in the car to make sure it’ll be fine!
Get home
Oh cool! Roommate invited me to a concert this weekend!! Okay lets see. I slept good last night, had a good jaw day today, can probably pull off sleeping good for two more nights and keeping my jaw relaxed. Oh and it's two hours away! I can wear my mouth guard in the car to make sure it’ll be okay for when we're at the concert! And I'll bring Aleve just in case (but I’ve taken so much Aleve in the past year it barely works any more). And it’s not a rock concert so it shouldn't be so loud that I end up clenching… okay cool I’ll come!
Doing homework
Relax your shoulders, relax your jaw. No biting nails. Okay cool lets do this! Unclench… unclench…. Unclench, unclench, unclench and unclench again.
Driving to dinner with friends
Okay, sing a few songs then stop so your jaw doesn’t hurt! Don’t scream out the words too loud and strain your jaw! Okay pop the mouth guard in! Okay don’t laugh too hard! Mouth opens too wide and it’ll hurt it! We gotta stay good for this concert!
Going to sleep
Okay mouth guard in! Ear things out! Laying on my back! Hopefully I don't roll onto my side! Decent day with the pain! Hopefully tomorrow will be better!
This is basically my brain on a moderate day where my jaw hurt decently bad but I was still able to function and not be in a lot of pain. It can be overwhelming at times thinking about it and feeling it all while trying to be a human. Some days I'm in complete agony and have a massive headache and it's all I can think about, but other days I’m completely fine and don’t think about it too much at all. It does however control a lot of things I do so that I don’t aggravate it. I’d much rather do a little of something and not aggravate it too much than to push the limits and deal with the consequences for days.
Living life with a pain that will never really go away can be hard, especially when it first starts, but I try to stay optimistic and not let it hold me back. I just try to be prepared so I can do the things I want to do. Even if it's not hurting I’m always very conscious of what could hurt it.
Next time you bend down to pick something up, or run a mile, or do a push up, or look to the left, or even chew some gum, take a minute. Realize people with back pain, ankle pain, wrist pain, neck pain or jaw pain can’t do some of the things you can. Appreciate what you have and be careful who you complain to because many people have it a lot worse than you do.
We all fight our own battles, mine just happens to live right inside my face.
