Let’s take a journey into the mind of one who battles life every single day. Let’s experience life in the eyes of an individual who suffers from clinical depression, a disorder which affects people across the entire world. These people may hide their stress, their sadness, and their fears, but we’re about take an inside view of what is really going on behind the mask.
You have to keep going. You have to keep fighting. You have to not give up. When you don’t have an appetite, you make yourself eat. When you want to lay in bed, you make yourself get up. When you want to dwell in your grief, you plaster on a smile. When you start to think—of course they’re negative thoughts—you get off the couch and go look at the stars. When your pills make you sick, and you feel you’re too tired, you let yourself take a day off. When it gets to be too much—you think you can’t pull through—you just close your eyes and breathe—you know you can’t give up. Maybe in a few more days, you’ll want to dress up again. Maybe in a few more days, getting clean won’t be such a chore. Maybe in a few more days, the sun will show its face. Maybe in a few more days, your friends will say hello. Maybe in a few more days, you won’t be losing hope. Maybe in a few more days, something will make you smile, maybe in a few more days, the work won’t seem as hard, maybe in a few more days when the weather isn’t dreary, you’ll feel better, though the promise isn’t there—you know you can’t give up. This is when it becomes too much. This is when the walls close in. This is when the candle is blown out. This is when you start not to care. This is when your mind is in a fog. This is when school is too much. This is when the sun becomes cold, this is when the laugh is faked, this is when the light seems to be dark, this is when the pain seems to hurt more, this is when you wonder how long it’ll go on—you know you can’t give up. When they want you to talk and tell them your worries, you bottle it all up. When it’s time to eat food, you’re not feeling hungry. When your hair feels greasy to the touch, you give it another week. When you gain some extra pounds, you just hate yourself more. When the sad song comes on that you used to love, you can’t stop the tears that come—you know you can’t give up. You lose sight of the shore. You can no longer see the point. You sleep for hours on end. You hit snooze on your alarm so many times, you decide to ignore it and turn it off. You fail to see the reason that you’re doing what you are, and the purpose you once fought for… means nothing anymore. You feel the weight on your shoulders, your head, your chest—you think it’s heavier than ever. You feel the burden of the things you’ve never done, you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel—yet there’s so much left to be done—you build others up, though they just tear you down, you fight and you fight, but the burdens still surround, you feel the darkness come, and you fail to fight it off—you know you can’t give up…
If you or someone you know suffers from depression, remember: there is hope. Do not give up. Depression is a constant struggle, and it is OK to seek help.
