About a month and a half ago, I wrote an article about how I never wanted kids, and I never pictured them in my life. I thought they would impact my life negatively, and I wouldn't have time for one. About a week or so after I wrote the article, I started dating someone who has a kid. Crazy, I know.
I never did see a kid in my life. I never thought I would get attached to one, or even be able to take care of one. I didn't think I'd find myself getting excited about little things they're starting to learn, like waving when you tell them, "Say hi!'
I met my boyfriend's son, Cameron, when he was 6 months old (he just turned one). I interacted and played with him every chance I got, and I found myself missing him when I wasn't around him. My heart would melt when he would hug me or reach out for me whenever he wanted to be picked up. I got attached to him quickly and got attached to his dad even quicker.
My boyfriend, Charles, knew my stance on kids and knew I never wanted them, but that all changed as we started getting closer. Since being in a relationship, I've learned dating someone who has a kid is a completely different relationship than someone without a kid.
For starters, he will always have some sort of relationship with his ex because of their son, and that's not something I'm used to. They're still going to talk and see each other fairly often. Not to mention Cameron is a constant reminder of his ex to begin with.
It's also more of an adult relationship. He and I talk way more about our future together constantly. While talking about our future, Cameron is always included in that future, like where is he going to be raised and how I would like to be included in that process. I don't want to keep being hundreds of miles away from both of them at school.
I've had a few people tell me my son is adorable, or ask me if I'm his mother when we're in public together. No, he's not my son, but I love the kid more than I ever imagined possible. I find myself being sad when I'm missing things like his first steps, and I;m constantly showing my family and friends pictures and videos of him every chance I get.
I never did want kids, but now that I've been given the opportunity to help raise one, my mind has become quite a bit more open to it. Being a part of Cameron's life is a blessing, and I can't thank his dad enough for allowing me to be a part of it.