Dating Then vs. Dating Now

Dating Then vs. Dating Now

From a Man's Perspective
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Talking Then

When my dad was my age 'talking to someone' wasn't a type of relationship.  Nowadays it has sadly become a new type of status to put on a relationship.  If you were talking to a girl, that wasn't a big deal of any sorts, people actually used to talk to each other, a lot.  This was even before texting was a form of communication, you had to pick up a phone and call her, usually getting her parents answering the phone.  It's a bit intimidating but he was a man and that's how it was done.

Talking Now

Now 'talking to someone' is a lazy way to say you're interested and mildly trying to form a relationship.  It's sad and it the idea shouldn't even be entertained, if you're into someone show it.  On another note, talking to someone doesn't make it exclusive and I don't even entertain that idea. Now texting is the new standard and face-to-face proves to difficult for guys.  Yes texting is convenient but its borderline lazy.

Dates Then

Believe it or not, my father would use the words "It's a date".  I barely ever hear the word 'date' now.  These weren't those 'movie and back to his place' type of date either.  He had to put in the work, be a chivalrous man, and wait a few dates to reap the benefits.  Dates rarely were just coffee or a movie, usually a nice dinner where he picked up the check.  That's just how things worked.

Dates Now

It seems people my age don't want to put the date label on it.  It's pretty rare that I hear someone actually refer to their date as a date.  Some common ways people dodge the d-word now are: 'coffee', 'just hanging out', 'watching a movie at their place', 'it was only lunch', etc.  Listen, if you want to go on a date make it a date.  And nothing should be expected out of a date, if she is genuinely interested things will come from that in time.

Chivalry Then

My father had to go through the classic motions of picking the girl up, walking to their door to greet them, opening doors, pick the restaurant, pay the full bill, drive her home, walk her to the door, kiss her goodnight, and leave.  Almost always followed by a phone call the next day and quickly planning another date.  It makes her feel important and like you actually care about her.
Chivalry Now

I still go through most of the motions of classic dating, when I do date, but sadly it isn't really expected anymore.  I don't understand why being a chivalrist is too much work for some guys, but honestly, it's not too much work in order to make yourself look good and make you date feel important.  Some guys just like to wait a few days to call the girl after, I'm not sure why this is the new standard but it's stupid.  If you don't want to show your date you care about her, then you don't care enough.

Cover Image Credit: http://thecuteway.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/date-3.gif

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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Leave Your Ex Alone

They don't want to bother with you, so stop bothering them.

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It's okay to be friends with your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, but you can never be friends immediately after the break-up or else the friendship will fail. To be someone's friend you must be able to support them and love them. Relationships almost never end on good terms, so how can you be truly supportive to the person that broke you? You can't.

You both need time to heal and love yourselves again without the emotional support that you both have been leaning on for so long."You can't fix yourself while holding on to the person that broke you." -r.h.sin. Remember that.

Also, please for the sake of all your friends, followers, and your self-dignity, keep your relationship off social media. I'm not saying don't post want you to want to post, but when your profile has turned into a hate blog for your ex, I think it's time quit. Not only does constantly posting negative things about your ex make you look bad, but it also makes the healing process go even slower and possibly ruin the chances of friendship again.

And if you truly believe that sending a text that is close to the length of 400 words to your ex explaining once again that you are completely over them will make them change their minds then go off, but know it most likely won't work. Then didn't care the first time, they won't care the seventh time.

So basically, be respectful and be kind to your ex. No matter how messed upshot they did was and no matter how badly that hurt you, realize that treating them terrible back solves nothing and only reflects badly on you. You can't change how people treat you, but you can choose how to react.

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