What It's Like Dating Someone Who Already Has Kids
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What It's Like Dating Someone Who Already Has Kids

Those kids will come first always.

What It's Like Dating Someone Who Already Has Kids

It's not something they say on the first date or over coffee while you both cram for an upcoming test. My boyfriend sat me down when we started getting serious and told me he had something to tell me -- something he had been keeping from me. I was nervous; I thought it was going to be something really bad. But it wasn't; he just didn't know how to tell me...he said he was scared I would dump him. He had two kids back home (I will leave out personal details for privacy reasons). I won't lie; I was stunned, but I wasn't angry or even upset. I was thankful he told me.

I never judged him because of it because life does happen. In our world today, not many "baby daddies" try to stay in their children's lives; they move on and never look back. He calls and FaceTimes them every chance he gets, he shows me pictures of them, and he talks about the next time he will get to see them in person. He said if it wasn't for his babies, he wouldn't have even considered college. He came from a troubled background, and to see how much two beautiful angels have changed him as a person, is beauty in its own.

Since the day he told me, I ask every morning if he has heard how they are doing (since they are back home at the moment). Being in college, it is a little weird being with someone who already has kids, but it is not my place to judge. To all the girls and guys dating someone with kids, this comes from personal experience: you cannot get jealous of their babies; their kids will always come before you.

When he gets a text asking if he can talk, I wave him off so they can have their alone time, and I wouldn't have it any other way. The day he told me, I made it clear that those kids would come first and he would never have to worry about me trying to take their time.

I didn't have a dad growing up. He ran off when I was little, but that is OK...I'm not mad; it made me who I am today. But when I was just a little kid, it was hard; everyone had a mommy and a daddy, and I didn't. I didn't want anyone to feel that way ever again -- not even his babies. Too many times I see couples get together, and they start brushing the kids off. When I see that, it is like a trigger, and I just feel sorry for them because I remember the pain I felt.

There is baby mama drama, but that's for another article and another day. But as God as my witness, I will never come between those babies and their father -- not today, not ever. I can't be more proud than to be with someone who supports their babies and is still working to better not only his future but also theirs as well.

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