What It's Like To Date The Bartender

8 Things You Know, And Do, If You're Dating A Server Or Bartender

There are just expectations your significant other learn to follow if they have someone special in the service industry.

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As a bartender and server, I've had boyfriends in the past who had no idea what they were getting themselves into. The evening night shifts, "I'm off work" texts after 3 a.m., the crazy stories, etc. Overtime, they become accustomed to what it means to be a good guest in a restaurant. These are just a few things our significant others have learned dating us folks in the service industry. And for that, we thank you.

1. Leaving a proper tip whenever you go out to eat

Some people still don't fully understand that people in the service industry make their money through tips. All my servers out there know the feeling of getting no tip from a table, which is why people dating servers will without a doubt leave a great tip wherever they go out to eat. That's great, too! We taught you all so well.

2. Saying "please" and "thank you"

I know what you're thinking, all people say "please" and "thank you," but that's not the case necessarily for everyone. Recognizing your server's existence, eye contact and please and thank you's come a long way and make a person feel more important. Thanks to all the server and bartender's significant others, we now have friendlier faces to put us in a great mood!

3. Patience and understanding

There will be days where the restaurant is slammed and I cannot get to a set of people as quick as I'd like. Rather than getting frustrated with the server, those special people tend to wait more patiently and are more understanding. I'm sure they've seen their significant other drowning at work, too. For being so understanding, we thank you.

4. Just because we're server food and drinks doesn't mean there aren't challenges to the job.

I get it, to some people, bartending and serving looks like a breeze. It can be, too, if you're good at it. But just like any other career, we work hard to make each and every customer happy. And it's a lot of work! For the strangers that bash people in the service industry and think it's a cake walk, it's not. For the significant others who date the lovely people in this industry, you know we work hard and we appreciate it.

5. We are not morning people

For my servers and bartenders working those late night shifts, I see you! When you go to work at 5 or 6 in the evening and work till 2:30 a.m. you shouldn't expect us to be an early riser. We love our sleep & our significant others recognize and understand this reality.

6. We aren't flirting with our customers, we're doing our job

I can see how people think we are flirting with customers, but we're doing our job. Being kind, having a big smile & listening to what people have to say come with the job. It's fun, too! Server and bartender's significant others understand it comes with the career. Do other people expect us to get our tips by acting cold towards everyone other than their person?

7. Weekends are not the time to plan evening dates

For bartenders and servers, our biggest nights earning money are Friday and Saturday nights. For everyone else, it's time to unwind and relax. Our significant others know by now that weekends will never be free. But who doesn't love a nice date on a Tuesday night, am I right?

8. We always have the best stories

Significant others to a bartender or server should just expect at least one crazy story per-shift. You never know what type of people will walk into a bar. And for that reason alone, we never know what to expect, but it always makes a great story.

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The Truth About Dating A Girl With An Anxiety Disorder

She knows how annoying she can be, but she just prays you love her regardless of her flaws.

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Anxiety: A nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

The definition makes it sound really daunting. Truthfully, there is no one way to describe generalized anxiety disorder if you have it. It is hard to live with, hard to cope with and unfortunately, really hard to date with.

Girls with anxiety are different than the average girl when it comes to relationships. That's just an honest statement, no matter how much it hurts me to say it.

We need the constant reminder that you love us, even though we know in our hearts that you do. We panic when you don't answer your phone, in fear that we did something wrong. We care about your feelings when you say that we don't need to worry and we need to be a little calmer. But it's so damn hard.

It isn't easy to love someone who worries about everything 24/7. Half the time, we know we shouldn't be doing the things we do. We know we shouldn't blow up your phone or ask just one more time if you are mad at us. But we can't help it. It says it right in the definition: compulsive behavior due to excessive uneasiness.

Being with a girl with anxiety is probably downright exhausting. It's exhausting for us to have our minds constantly running and worrying. But I promise it's worth it.

We come to you with everything because you are the one person who always knows how to make us feel better. When we are happy, you are the one person we want to be happy with. We all know the constant reassurance, reminders and the same old arguments get old. It gets old to us too.

There was never a time I wanted to have a panic attack because my boyfriend wasn't answering his phone. In my head, I knew where he was because he was usually in the same three places. I knew he wasn't mad at me because I didn't do anything to make him upset. I knew how busy he was with his classes and he was probably studying and I needed to give him space. But the little voice in my head always argued, "What if you did something wrong? What if he's ignoring you because he's angry? What if he's seen your messages and calls, but no longer wants to be with you?" And then I give in. I call, I text, I cry, I panic. Only to feel even worse 10, 30 or 50 minutes later because you answer angrily, telling me what I already knew after I did what I knew I shouldn't have done.

Having anxiety is almost like having a drug addiction. You know all the things that trigger you. You know all the ways to stay away from the bad places in your mind so you don't end up relapsing. But you do anyway and it hurts worse every single time.

Dating a girl with anxiety is as hard as it gets, but she will love you like no other. She is so incredibly thankful for all the things you put up with to be with her. Because she is worried about being loved, she goes the extra mile to always remind you how much you are loved. She always asks if you are ok because she cares about the answer and knows what it's like not to be ok.

The truth is that dating anybody with anxiety is difficult, but it isn't impossible. You get back everything you put in, even though you may not realize it. Trust me, she is sorry for being the annoying, crying, worried, naggy mess and it embarrasses her because she knows better and she wants to be better for you. But please love her. Hold her, understand her, listen to her, calm her, be there for her. In your heart, you know she would turn around and do all the same things for you in a heartbeat.

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7 Things To Remember When You're Sad About Being Single

I don't need a significant other, I have my significant self.

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Let's stop the stigma around being single. Those who aren't in a relationship are not "weak," "missing out," "lonely," etc. We're doing just fine on our own, honey. There may be many plus sides of being in a relationship such as having a cuddle buddy, someone who, without a doubt, will always buy you food, or sharing your love for in each other in endless, cute ways. Buuuuttt... let's not forget these reasons why being single can be so amazing!

1. You save money 

Less shopping for you on Valentine's Day, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc. SAVE THAT MONEY, HONEY!

2. You can flirt with whoever you want...

...for the most part, at least. Definitely not if they already have a significant other. But now, you don't have to feel guilty for having googly eyes for someone else!

3. You can completely unplug whenever 

You don't have to worry about constantly keeping tabs on someone. No more answering to someone's every call. You can go completely tech-free whenever!

4. You have more time...

...to find yourself, love yourself, and put yourself first. Also, just more time to watch Netflix and hang with family and friends.

5. You are saying goodbye to heartbreak 

No one can breakup with you if you're single, #facts.

6. Everything you do is for yourself 

Decision making can be hard as it is, so making decisions that benefit you AND another person can be draining. Now, you don't have to worry about making someone else happy.

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