I Don't Want To See These Things On Your Dating Profile

99/100 times I swipe left on dating apps because I am hugely unimpressed with your choice of content on your profile. If you cannot impress me with your dating profile, I doubt you'll impress me in real life. Your dating profile is how you market yourself to those who might be interested in you. There are times that I am shocked to think that these are the pictures that someone actually thinks will cause women/men to want to date them.

The following are just a few immediate things that cause me to give an immediate swipe left if I see it on your dating profile.

1. A mirror selfie.

You really couldn't find anyone to take a good quality picture of yourself? A friend? A parent? A sibling? A stranger? Anyone? Plus the mirror selfie is so middle school. Do you want to be seen as a responsible adult or as a child who doesn't know how to take proper pictures of themselves? Would you send that mirror selfie to a job interview? I know dating isn't the same thing, but I think that mirror selfies are so immature and make me feel like they're not taking dating seriously.

2. Any dead animals.

Why would I want to see you posing with dead animals? It just makes me feel sad and confused. Do you regularly have dead animals hanging around? Do you think that this is supposed to impress me? Why are there so many fish? If I date you do I also have to like posing with dead fish? Will we have dead fish on every date? I get that you like to fish, but why not a nice picture of you fishing from a boat with a nice backdrop?

3. Group photos.

Immediate question: which one is you? If I can't tell that immediately from your picture then it shouldn't be on your dating profile. I'm not here to date your friends, I'm here to date you. And if I cannot tell which one is you, then I might start being attracted to your friend until I realize that it's not your friend's profile after I get 4 images deep. And that's not fair to you or to me.

4. Blurry pictures.

Once again. You couldn't find anyone to take a proper photo of you? This is the age of cell phones with crazy good cameras. Why would you choose to include a picture that is so blurry and grainy that I cannot tell who you are or what you look like. Are you trying to hide something?

5. Pictures with other women/men that could be your past significant other.

If I'm going through your pictures and I see you hugging another woman I'm going to have questions. If you're looking to start dating a woman/man then why would you include in your profile photos a picture that looks as if you already have a significant other? If it's your sibling then great, but I still wouldn't include it if the picture could possibly arise questions.

6. Children that are not your own.

If I see a picture of you with a child, I'm going to automatically assume it is yours.

7. Pets that are not your own.

If you have a picture of an animal in your profile picture then I will automatically assume it is yours. If you're posing with someone else's dog then that is false advertising.

8. Your SnapChat or Instagram account details.

Are you looking for more followers or a boyfriend/girlfriend? I'm looking for a serious relationship, not just someone to snap back and forth occasionally.

9. Pictures from more than a year ago.

Which is the real you? Maybe 4 years ago you were clean shaven and now you have a beard? 3 years ago you had bangs and now you don't. 5 years ago you were heavy set but now lost a ton of weight. Which is the real you? If you don't look the same in all your pictures or they are more than a year old, I'm going to have questions. Who would I be dating? And what are you trying to hide?

10. Pictures of you smoking.

Just eew. Gross. Smoking is an automatic no-go. Is that even considered cool anymore in a time when we know how bad smoking is for your health? This is not an attractive picture that makes me want to date you.

Basically, don't be the person with these things on your dating profile. Be respectable and mature. You are marketing yourself to your future husband/wife and I don't want to see all these other things that make me feel like you're not ready for a serious relationship.

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