Have you ever found yourself wondering why you like a particular person? Or why you even had a relationship with your ex?

I did. And I think most people do.

I find myself dating women who resemble certain things I like, but not everything. One girl loved making jokes with me, which I adored, but then she was never serious. Another woman would never let the timespan of our texts be too long, which I respected, but then I realized the content of our texts went from great quality to poor quality. Even the essential characteristics that I prioritize are never really displayed the way I want them to be displayed.

I like a woman who is smart, and capable of engaging in intellectual and informed conversations about science, society, and trending topics. I also like a woman who is pretty layback, casual, and chill in nature. I would like her to be independent, but not afraid to rely upon me when needed. With all that said, I know there is not necessarily a person who encompasses all of that, or if they do, it may not be to the degree I would ultimately prefer.

I wonder if these qualities stem from multiple women I have liked, instead of just one. What if I liked the intelligence of Person A, the chillness of Person B, and the independence of Person C. What if I am not sure what I want?

I think I am taking puzzle pieces from different puzzles and hoping to create something new, without any insurance that those pieces would connect together. What if the type of independence I would want in a woman would not allow her to be as chill as I would want? Though I know there is no perfect person, I still think on some level, I want a perfect person.

I am sure others fill the same way too.

When I am on dates, some women would say they like a certain quality about me but would allude to wanting me to have a different quality, which comes off contrary to the initial quality they say they liked.

Essentially, we want an ice cream with vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, pistachio, cookie dough, banana, and peppermint. And that is because we like all those different things separately, but not necessarily enjoy it altogether, though we think we do.

If you find yourself indecisive about what you want to wear for the day or where you want to live 5 years from now, why can't you be indecisive about the type of person you want to date?

We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to nail down that ideal mate, but is anyone ever really ideal? Even those who are in long committed relationships, are they really each other's ideal mate? I am inclined not to think so.

We just may be choosing whoever we want, and hope that the differences are not too great and that the consequences are very low.

I think understanding this when you are socializing with others is helpful and insightful in forming relationships. And though we may not know what we want all the time, that is okay, because we are not alone.