Dating someone who suffers from chronic anxiety is fairly similar to dating someone who suffers from panic disorder. There are, however, a few key points that you need to consider that might be different than what you expected. Keep these bits of advice in mind so that you can help your panic-stricken partner feel better sooner:
1. Know that panic attacks can happen randomly and without warning
While some attacks are triggered by certain memories, sights, sounds, and other stimuli, there isn't always a logical reason behind an anxiety episode. Panic attacks can strike at unexpected and very inopportune times— in the middle of a dinner date, during a steamy make-out session, and even while you're cuddling and are about to fall asleep. That being said, even if you're dead tired or preoccupied with something, do your best to be alert and there for your partner no matter what.
2. You have to just let the attack run its course
You want nothing more than to make your S.O.'s worries go away at the snap of your fingers…but it doesn't work like that. Anxiety attacks can last up to an hour if they're severe enough. While you feel really bad that you can't do much to alleviate your partner's symptoms, know that there's nothing you can do but relieve some of the physical and emotional strain while it's there. There is no magic cure; the best you can do is ride it out along with your partner and tell them that you'll keep them safe.
3. The best comfort isn't always hands-on
If you're witnessing your partner going through an attack, your first instinct might be to wrap your arms around them and hold them close to your chest until they're calm. But not everyone wants to be touched at these times, as their bodies are often really sensitive and can't handle the feeling of being 'trapped', even if it's in a loving embrace. Try not to be offended if your partner asks you to give them some space to breathe and recover on their own— sometimes that's the best remedy.
4. It's not silly to reassure them that everything will be okay
It's easy to forget throughout the course of a panic attack that you aren't in any real danger. Your partner might actually believe in the heat of the moment that they are losing control and falling apart. They know rationally that this isn't so, but their brain won't be in any condition to listen to reason during an attack. That being said, gently reassure your partner that everything will be okay soon and that they aren't going to get hurt.
5. Panic attacks may be frustrating for you, but your partner feels even worse
You hate having to helplessly watch your S.O. suffer and might even be annoyed by the frequency of their attacks, but trust me: your partner feels a lot worse about it than you ever could. Panic disorder sufferers feel guilty about exposing their loved ones to their pain; they feel like such a burden and hate that their anxiety attacks interfere with their relationships. So even though you're frustrated, the last thing your partner needs to hear about is your hatred for a disorder that they can't control.
6. They appreciate your help more than you know
I can't thank my girlfriend enough for being so understanding of my condition; she is such a huge source of comfort for me and I'm so grateful to have her as my rock. I know I can always count on her to be here for me, to answer my frantic phone calls if she's not around and to hold me tight if we're together. No doubt your partner is so, so thankful that they have you in their life— your continued support and care means the world to them.
Although I covered the major points in this article, I recommend that you check out some other resources that explain panic disorder in greater detail. Here is a site that you might want to visit.
