A lot of us tend to avoid talking about social and political issues in order to avoid that awkward tension and resentment that could potentially arise between us and those we care about. We all have that relative that says something a little askew from our taste, whatever your views are. But what about a significant other? Could you see yourself committing to someone who says those same things as your old-fashioned relative?
Yeah, neither did I.
When my now-boyfriend and I began talking I had a huge array of assumptions based on the arrogant crowd he got mixed into the night we met. I didn't think I would catch feelings for him based on that first impression. Booyyyy was I wrong... first of all my impression was way off and I ended up catching the feels, obviously, considering we're about to celebrate our two-year anniversary in October.
Now, my boyfriend turn out not to be a racist, bigoted moron like I thought he was (score!) but he and I definitely still have some different opinions. But I'd like to make it a point that this is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a great thing. If you follow me on any sort of social media, and you haven't muted me yet, you probably already know that I'm not one who keeps her opinions to herself. Some of those who disagree with me have called me every name in the book, behind my back and to my face, it's totally cool, I can take it because I'm not going to stop GAF about what I believe in, and neither is my beau. And neither should you!
"So, what, you guys just fight all the time?" No! Being in a relationship with someone who doesn't always agree with you isn't easy, but is any relationship easy? I learn more about my significant other every debate we have, and it has improved my sense of trust, understanding and patience. I know that my boyfriend is committed to me for who I am as a person rather than any superficial reason. In fact, one time he was asked what it was he liked so much about me, his answer being, "She could have a debate with an entire room of people against her and not budge from where she stands." Whoa -- deep. Back 'atcha bud!
Sometimes our arguments do not end in agreement, and we think that's totally OK. We find it more important to honor our differences rather than let them come between us. At the end of the day, we're proud of each other for having a voice and standing up for what we believe in and we know our relationship (and friendship) is too valuable to throw away just because we butt heads on a topic from time to time.
So the next time someone says something that you don't agree with, don't stomp off in a huff. Take a deep breath and hear them out; make sure you're really listening to what they have to say and expect the same in return. You both may realize you have more in common than you think. Everyone thinks they're the good guy, and we're not going to get anywhere by slamming doors in each other's faces.
