In the land of Celebrity-Break-Ups-Dominate-News, it is rare to see a relationship last a lifetime. This does not mean it doesn't happen, but we're constantly seeing relationships fail after they seemed as perfect as Hollywood does before you take a trip up the I-405. The crumbling usually begins with infidelity, then pictures of both sides looking crazed and sleep deprived, and finally we are told how devastating their horrible end was.
Moreover, young relationships have never seemed more disaster-destined. Particularly with the prerequisite of a Bachelor's degree, at least, for most decent paying careers, deciding on your soulmate before exploring the world, or at least a university some place far, far away, is practically early retirement. Our generation is rarely advised to take our boyfriend/girlfriend across the world with us but is urged to "experience life" before making any solid decisions.
This is not a rant against dating. The desire to find someone truly compatible, especially for a lifetime, is incredibly legitimate. However, sometimes it seems this generation is confused with the difference between quantity and quality.
Quantity dating is dating people for the sake of having dated more people. While it seems silly, I'd be willing to bet most people have gone out with someone only because they were asked and liked the validation, or thought they needed to try someone new, or simply felt lonely or heartbroken. The thing is, knowing what you like is a game of trial and error. But when do you know all you needed to know? If the right person is in front of you, do you still need to experience a mirage of wrong ones?
That being said, quality dating is dating someone with genuine potential. Like picking friends, picking who you'd date should be particular. Sure, we don't always pick the best friends in hindsight, but initially, there was something about them that we were sure we liked. Further, when it isn't going anywhere, we shouldn't feel entitled to keep dating because it feels nice. Dating should be a choosy process, involving a lot of communication and honesty.
But in the age of Tinder, I'm not so sure honesty is the best way to describe modern dating. When emojis are our best indicator of feelings, there's a problem. And when we're constantly being bombarded with failed relationships, this problem becomes less regarded. And when we're then pressured to try on as many experiences while we're young as we can, holding merit to young relationships is nearly impossible.
However, for ages, young relationships have worked. Not always, and especially not these days, but they have. And we know this! The irony is that social media is always blowing up with memes of old couples and how they used to fix broken things and not throw them away. Our generation still wants that lasting relationship - we're just disillusioned with the idea like we are with politics or big corporations. Sure, there may be someone good out there who isn't in it for the greed, but buying into that means fighting for it, and we frankly don't really like trying that hard.
Dating shouldn't be about temporary experiences. Dating should be about experiencing someone wholeheartedly, to whatever extent that means. Only when we take in a person with real intentions can we genuinely understand what we want. If a partnership isn't what you're looking for, great, keep it light and don't date. If a partnership is what you want and you've found it, great, keep that person in mind.
We shouldn't have to throw away a good thing just to live more of life. Growing deeper into a relationship is just as much "living it up" as being with a ton of people.
