The Complexity of Dating Interracially As an Asian

The Complexity Of Dating Interracially As An Asian

Interracial dating as an Asian man

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All relationships can be complicated, but interracial relationships can be even more so. Finding a love match can be a vastly different experience for Asian people in the United States, who anecdotally report that when dating online, they're often only matched with people of the same or similar cultural backgrounds. Now, many people simply prefer to look for partners of similar cultural background or ethnicity, but how is it that Asian people have such a homogenous experience, even in the world's most multicultural cities?

If you're interested in meeting someone new, find Asian singles here.

It seems that when it comes to dating, casual racism is still widespread. Some online dating profiles will even say 'no Asians' or 'I don't date Asian people.' A few years ago, the dating site OK Cupid conducted a study that revealed Asian men were rated lowest by Latina, white, and black women. Other studies have shown that Asian men have a harder time getting a second date than others when taking part in speed dating.

These studies and other experts say that these results are a result of the still-prevalent traditional belief that Asian men are desexualized, or aren't 'masculine.' This means that women are pre-programmed to believe an Asian man isn't a desirable partner and is likely to simply 'swipe left.'

The female experience

While Asian men are often seen as non-sexual beings, for Asian women, the opposite is true. They are among the most popular matches, but their experience of dating online can be just as hard to navigate. This is due to 'fetishization,' where Asian women are seen as exotic geishas, or 'dragon ladies,' while men (often white) ascribe a whole set of sexual characteristics to a potential partner for no reason other than she is Asian. These women often find themselves, especially if their partner has dated multiple Asian women before them, having some difficult conversations to get to the bottom of why their partner wants to be in that relationship. This isn't a good way to start, but this is important if they're to avoid being a 'token' or 'trophy.'

Solving the problems

How do we solve these problems? More discussions on racial stereotypes and clichés could be a great start, with Asian-American men and women who speak up on these things able to have their voices heard. This will also help non-Asian people to realize that Asia is a vast continent, full of diverse people with different cultural backgrounds. They don't fit any single mold or stereotype.

It's a fact that racialized preferences will probably never entirely go away, but it's good to be aware of any that you might hold and challenge yourself as to whether you're reinforcing a stereotype. Look at the stereotype of the sexless Asian man. Have you ever discounted someone as a partner based on that? Your 'personal preference' or 'personal opinion' may, in fact, be nothing more than social programming.

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21 Reasons You Should Date Someone Who Was A Camp Counselor

Spouse and parent material, all wrapped up in an animal shirt, Nike shorts, and Chacos.
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1. They shop at Goodwill mostly... low maintenance you could say?

SEE ALSO: The ABC's Of Summer Camp

2. They are pretty awesome at talking to parents... opening days have given good practice for them. Give them 15 minutes and they will become best friends with your parents.

3. Their best friends actually are long distance...so you can wait a while to meet their besties who will want to know everything about you and make sure your intentions are good.

4. They have learned how to look decently presentable without showering for a week... maybe two...you may or may not like this one.

5. They are always down for adventure... sure let's hike for eight miles uphill in the middle of the week!

6. They know what it is like to be woken up at 2 a.m. because someone wet their bed... mom training.

7. They also know how to give the "modest is hottest" talk to the teenage campers... and will help give you a classy future daughter.

8. Building fires is their hidden talent... if you ever get stuck on a deserted island with them they can help you.

9. Animal shirts are a common clothing item... they know how to have fun.

10. They throw killer dance parties... ones your grandma would approve of.

11. They are used to being publicly embarrassed for others (their campers') enjoyment... and usually can take a joke or prank well.

12. They also know how to prank you back... summer camp prepares you for awesome prank wars.

13. If you want to see her with no makeup on just look at her camp photos... natural beauty?

14. They actually love children... they chose to spend a whole summer loving other people's kids; imagine how awesome they will treat their own.

15. Chances are they are a really fun person and will bring out your inner child... yes, climb that random tree and paint your face because it is Wednesday.

16. Their "real job" will come later in life... they will end up being successful. Most employers love to hire former counselors, so it is not a waste of a summer.

17. They know how to hide their favorites in life really well... so if they choose to date you they are basically saying you are their favorite and that is a big deal to them.

18. They have learned how to eat unhealthy food every day for a whole summer and stay in shape... or try to at least.

19. They also are obviously not a diva when it comes to material needs...they went a whole summer without even air conditioning and never complained.

20. If they love you anything like they love their campers your needs will always be put first...they are some of the most selfless people you will ever meet.

21. They love God, living for Him, and have already made a difference in many children's lives... they are the real MVPS.

If you are still looking for a place to work this summer and love adventure, Jesus, and children, apply for Camp Crestridge for Girls; they still have many positions available. I'll be there so you should too!

If you are a boy apply for Camp Ridgecrest for Boys!

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5 Red Flags That Your Crush Is Talking To Other Girls

Don't worry, your selfie game is still strong even though his Snapchat skills are marginal at best.

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If you're going to "talk" to a bunch of girls, you need to do a better job at it. You players aren't really players because you have no game. Just because we go along with your sorry excuse for "talking" to us doesn't mean that we don't notice.

You're not fooling us. Even though you'd never dream of calling us on the phone, believe me, we've got your number.

I'm hoping that this list will be helpful to you if you're a girl trying to decide if your latest interest is actually interested and/or lead you to believe whether or not you are one of the many girls he's talking to. If you already know these tell-tale signs of the inner workings of impersonal technological contact then I hope you read this and laugh at how pathetic dating culture has become.

If you're a guy reading this maybe you will realize that SURPRISE! We know! Time to rethink how you run your women factory you were previously so proud of. If you are a guy reading this who doesn't do these things then go crack open a cold one and take the rest of the day off!

1. He resorts to Snapchat rather than texting

Hear me now, believe me later: Nothing good happens after 2 a.m. and very rarely do any real plans get made over Snapchat. Actual mail delivery on horseback Paul Revere-style would be more efficient (OK now I'm picturing Paul Revere singing "Old Town Road"). If they do try to make plans you might want to save the details in the chat and if you do that you look like a serial killer as well as someone who wants to show the messages to their friends (which you do want to show them, but he can never know that).

2. You slowly notice that his responses maybeeee aren't tailored to you

Oh gosh, this feels like realizing your favorite singer lip syncs. You don't want it to be true but it is. Perhaps the photo of the sports game on T.V. that he was watching wasn't only seen by you. I know, it cuts deep. Alexa, play "Womanizer."

3. You're receiving a reply that definitely wasn't meant for you

You send a selfie of you with iced coffee in the sunshine because duh, use straws to your advantage (is it just me or does my smile look especially good when I pose like that? I swear the coffee by my teeth makes them look whiter!) and he replies with a "for sure" or "yes" or "idk." You don't know about my coffee? Maybe you would know about it if you actually ever hung out with me, loser.

4. He leaves you on open and replies hours later

Most likely he did this to all his ladies. With no shock value, he conveniently replies when it is nearing evening and asks you what you're doing that night. But of course, you only get the three letters of "wyd." He left everyone on open and then sent that to everyone.

5. You receive the same snap back-to-back

This is a serious sign. If he sends you "wyd tonight" twice you know that the second one was meant for another person. He wasn't doubly curious about your plans.

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