Its no secret that times have changed, and when it comes to dating, most of us can't relate to our parents over told escapades of years when landlines were a still a kitchen staple and your date greeted you at the door, rather than from behind a car horn. It seems almost unimaginable that people met through sheer acts of courage- offering the girl you locked eyes with half the night a ride home or asking a stranger on the street for their phone number. Every story of love before us has turned into a guilty pleasure- like the movie scene you're forced to look away from, yet can't help peering through your fingers in curiosity. For those of us re-watching our favorite 90's rom-coms twice a month, the inevitable thought is sure to hit sooner or later – that would never happen today. I began to notice a pattern. Nearly every girl in my life described the perfect love story as something resembling an infamous movie scene from a romantic cult classic of 30 years prior. Why does no one describe the movie scenes of our generation? Could dating in our generation really be that bad? Yes and no.

Means of dating are different

As time and technology alike have evolved, we have become identified as, simultaneously, the most and least connected generation. Online connection has grown astronomically over just the last decade, between social media, dating apps and other virtual platforms. According to research from datingstudies.com, nearly 30% of GenZ is using online matchmaking services to find love. We are the generation that grew up on technology, and it often spills over into various aspects of our personal life, dating included. While countless individuals are comfortable reaching out to someone online, the question has become, comfortable at what expense? According to Liberty Classical Academy, our comfort in online connectedness impacts multiple areas of our social life, including the ability to maintain conversation confidently, our attention span and eye contact. In a social media-driven world, the need to constantly check in and keep up has been linked to decreased abilities to sustain conversation without the interruption of a screen or a lack of engagement. With the comfort of texting, responses are allowed thought and time. You connect to another human being on your own time, from behind a screen. There is no eye contact, awkward silence, or quick thinking. The fear is that people are losing the ability to have the movie-scene love story they've always dreamt of because they are struggling to take the first step in making it happen- connecting beyond your cell screen.

Priorities are different

We have also become known as the generation who dreams big and prioritizes work over love. According to reports from Morning Consult, Gen Z was identified as having the greatest aspirations to further their careers and stability before settling down. For this reason, the average age of marriage has risen to nearly thirty years old as compared to 26 a decade before. Most of us are working to build a life for ourselves, before building one with anyone else. A majority of GenZ, especially women, have shown greater desire to be financially independent and concepts such as being a working mom are looked upon with more power and praise than they were 30 or 40 years ago. There is a greater priority placed on success and advancement, and "always on" work culture is definitely real.

Misconceptions

Although times have changed, there are still a lot of misconceptions about love in our generation. I think a lot of people are lonely. We make a name for ourselves, we connect over the phone, we live our "always on" lifestyle, but we still often lay awake in bed with a feeling that love is this unattainable thing that could never happen as it does in the movies. I think people want connection and often don't know where to start or what they have to offer apart from their work and jam-packed schedules. Ultimately, I think there lies a decision that every person in GenZ must make for themselves when it comes to dating- do I want to live vicariously through the love story of my favorite 90's classic, or do I want to make my own?

Make it happen and expect more

You only say things would never happen because they have yet to happen. I think the perfect recipe for our generation's 90's love story is a combination of raising your standards and going after what you want. Maybe we all think the possibility of a vintage love story is a shot in the dark, so we've all subconsciously committed to stop trying. But what if it wasn't? Stop saying it could never happen and settling for people who affirm that. If you want someone to stand outside your window at 12a.m. with a boombox and bouquet of roses, stop settling for the ones who can't even make it to your front door. You do deserve dinner dates, you do deserve courageous, romantic gestures and you do deserve your own 90's movie scene. Beyond that, learn to become comfortable with the uncomfortable. Put yourself out there. Stop waiting for the moment to fall in your lap and create the story you've always wanted. Work past your own pride and go after what you want. Ask for the number, give the compliment, start the conversation.

So yes, things are different, and times have changed, but your desires and expectations don't have to. When it comes to love, our generation's greatest misconception may be that we are characters rather than authors; people on pages, standing idly by, with our story already written and deepest desires out of the realm of possibility. Every 90's love story began with an idea followed by an action; find your idea and make it happen.