Although I have no current experience dating in college (probably due to women being too nervous to engage such a wonderful, handsome guy like myself), I’ve found there to be many truths which conclude how great or how awful college relationships can be. Obviously, dating is mainly a matter of personal preference and circumstance for any particular person, and people should look into what works best for them. Along with this, it is also important for individuals to actually have someone else interested in dating them (which is probably my biggest problem), and this is when most concerns arise. College is a difficult time and, depending on the conditions, can become extremely worse or better with a significant other. These concerns can — and should — be weighed with a simple look at the positives and negatives of dating while attending a university.
Pros
Loneliness, especially during freshman year, is common while away at school. A new environment far from the comforts of home where friendships are fresh can demean even the bravest of students. Finding a significant other with the same interests can help you through hard times when nobody else is there.
Another positive, which helps through the good times, is being able to always have a good time. It doesn’t matter if your pals are busy on a Saturday night or a Wednesday afternoon, there is always the option of hanging out with your sweetheart instead. Whenever you’re unsure about who to go out with, your significant other will surely be more than willing to join you, proving that you aren’t just a poor, lonesome soul.
When you decide what to do on the weekend, it’ll be much easier to get ready when you don’t have anyone aside from your significant other to impress. Getting dressed doesn’t have to be any excessive task when the most important person to astound is already at your side, finding beauty in whatever you wear. (This doesn’t mean you can wear those cargo shorts you’ve been hiding at the back of your closet though.)
In certain cases, dating someone is like having a free tutor. If your significant other specializes in something you aren’t particularly good at, like editing papers or solving math equations, you can have them help you to better understand whatever subject you struggle with from the comfort of your bedroom and without having to seek out an awkward old woman who yells at you for being so ignorant.
There are times when staying in on the weekends seems like you’re wasting away in a bed of laziness. If you date someone while in college, having a night in (or 12) doesn’t seem so bad when you’ve got a significant other to keep you at ease.
Cons
Although having somebody at your side through the difficult times as well as the great times can be wonderful, it can also be overbearing. I have friends who feel obligated to spend any and all free time they have with their boyfriend or girlfriend, and I hardly ever see them out. It depends on the relationship, but some can be restricting which disallows for a large amount of freedom.
Along with restricted freedoms, it can sometimes be harder to focus when you’re dating someone. I found last semester that I exceeded my expectations for grades, going higher than I’ve ever done before. I attribute this success to the fact that I didn’t have the worry or bother of a girlfriend, which I had all throughout high school. I had more time to focus on my school work and had no obligations to text, hangout with or do anything with a significant other. My free time was my free time.
One con comes after already dating somebody. If you are someone who worries easily and doesn’t do well with breakups, then having a relationship can be very risky, especially at a smaller school. Most relationships aren’t successful, and due to this, the probability of seeing your ex on campus is very high. If seeing them with another person might kill you inside (it kills me), then staying away from serious relationships is probably a good fit for you.
The difference between dating in college and in high school is that you’ll see your significant other all the time. Any time you don’t feel like hanging with your significant other and just want to lay low by yourself or with a few friends, you can’t use the excuse that your mom isn’t letting you go out or you aren’t feeling too well. Having a significant other is a job at the college level. And if done right it can be one of the most positive influences in your life. If it is a struggle, then your whole life will become harder to juggle. Either way, it is totally up to the person who may be looking for a relationship to decide whether they’re ready to find a special someone, or if they should just stick to themselves in the loneliness of their room.
