Growing up as a kid, I remember hearing my mom and dad talk about how they met and what kinds of things they did together with their college friend group. I remember hearing about a few of their dates they went on and how real it is. It was so nice to be able to see my parents that I love dearly smile and laugh about memories they made.
When I was about 9 years old I told myself that I wanted to find love like my mom and dad found and have kept love. What I did not know was what I was up against. Now, I know that I was only a boy then, but still, the thought of finding something so much more than just myself seemed really freaking cool.
The next 11 years just continued on, and I found out that life was just full of surprise after surprise. I started to notice some rather odd things. The perception or idea of how two people should date was so different than how I was raised, and what I was accustomed to. I started to notice more couples become involved with sex, sometimes drugs, and sometimes even excluding their own friend's for more alone time. Some more time went on and some more years passed.
That romantic idea of taking a girl out on a date and walking her back to her parents front door being super scared of what her dad thinks, then waiting for her to call and decide if it's something she wants to do again. Or the day when you introduce her to your parents because that's a huge step.
Maybe this is just some weird thing I've pictured in the back of my mind for so long, or maybe this is something that is supposed to happen, naturally. Or maybe this does still happen and I just don't see it. I really don't know.
What I do know, is that what I have been seeing more and more of, especially in college, is just so backward of what dating really is in my opinion. Isn't dating supposed to be a way of figuring out our capability within each other? A way of figuring out who we want to spend the rest of our lives within such a personal and intimate way?
We grew up in a world of rapidly developing technology where screen usage and dependence have got to an all-time high. In grade school, we had black and white palm pilots, Tamagotchis, and hand-held game boys.
Only a few years later, we switched from slide-phones to iPhones and Androids and from AOL to Facebook and Twitter. Our younger siblings are growing up in a world where we as older siblings just swipe left or right on some large screen we carry in our hand, usually based on "judging a book by its cover" kind of thing, and a lot of us seem to be okay with that.
We need to do something about this whole dating revolution we have going on here. We, collectively and as an entire generation need to set the example for future generations.
WE need to start living and stop existing. WE need to start dating with a cause and not for the social status or the Facebook update. I'm not saying everyone is like this. However, I am saying that everyone is responsible for creating a world in which we want our kids, nephews, nieces, siblings, and friend's kids to grow up in.
So stop swiping left or right, or maybe at least read the little bio, go on a date and let her decision to call back or not make you happy or not so happy, respect her dad's opinion, tell the man you're on a date with what you're scared of, how much trouble you will be in if you don't get home on time, invite him out for a night with your friends, invite her out to meet the boys, do something out of the usual. Be bold.
