I remember after my last relationship ended, my told me to remember to date next time. My last relationship didn’t involve much dating. Granted, it started in high school, but we still didn’t date much. It was just a lot of angst and drama. In hindsight, that relationship was doomed no matter what. I’m fine with that, but that one piece of advice made me anxious in my next relationship.

My mom had a valid point. Dating is an important part of any relationship. It’s quality time, get to know one another, etc. Her point with my last relationship was that we only ever hung out with my family or his. We never went out just the two of us or even with friends. Her advice had merit, but I had to apply it to myself and determine what dating meant to me.

I’m family oriented, so hanging out with mine or my boyfriend’s family is important to me. Before I started dating my boyfriend thought I felt like I had to have a relationship that constantly involved dates and different activities. I thought in order to make it work, it had to be totally different from the last one. I had all these different ideas on things we could do.

The problem is, I’m a difficult person. Going out to eat is difficult because I’m a picky eater. It’s a problem for everyone involved, but it’s just something I’ve accepted about myself. I usually have the problem of liking appetizers at one place and entrees at another. I make it work when it’s a large group, but when it’s just the two of us… Well let’s just say my boyfriend is pretty great since he puts up with it!

Another issue I have, most activities are either expensive to the point I can’t justify it or it’s not something one or both of us want to do. That once piece of advice always lingered in the back of my head. All we ever do is go and see movies or we stay home. However, that’s not true. We do things with his family, my family, we see movies with friends, we have game nights, we do a lot of stuff.

The dates that we have don’t look like the movies or what I had in mind, but it works for us. The dating that we do is fine with me and makes me happy. I’m a huge movie nerd and I’m also a homebody. Sure, I have my moments of wanting to do something, but a majority of the time I’m fine with being lazy at home.

My point is: if you are a homebody and you’re worried that maybe you don’t go out enough, might not be worth all the anxiety. Relationships are going to look different from others. Everybody is different and what works for one person might not work for you. I took my mom’s advice, but I applied it differently.