I love my friends. I really do. I even love hearing about their relationship problems and consoling them through breakups, but I don't envy the dating environment they are subjected to. Listening to their horror stories of "fuck boys" and watching them get ghosted again and again makes me thank whatever's up there that I don't have to deal with boys of my generation.
Thankfully, I started dating my boyfriend before the stage where guys lose all concept of chivalry and monogamy. I used to worry about missing out on my crazy college days and trying new things and kissing random boys but after entering college and watching my friends struggle, I know I'm not missing out on anything.
College-aged guys have always gotten a bad rap, but it has only gotten worse in recent years. When asked to describe the dating scene in college, one friend said, "It's shit. Hookup culture is all any guy wants to participate in. Dating so far has honestly been pretty disappointing. Another said, "Guys are immature, and all they want to do is party. And if you don't want to do that with them, you're screwed and if you do you're also screwed. Dating in college is a vicious circle."
If you want to date in college you really only have two options: parties and Tinder. Both sound equally unappealing to me. I don't know many girls who have found quality guys through either method. Not that there aren't good guys online or at clubs. But usually, the guy who approaches you while you're shit-faced at Gilt isn't interested in anything beyond the infamous one night stand.
Not only is dating in college unromantic and almost unheard of, but it's also often dangerous too. There's been an increase in recent years of reported sexual assaults and non-consensual use of the drug commonly called roofies. Dating doesn't just suck because the majority of available men are unimpressive, it's also because it's unsafe to meet and trust strangers. You never the true intentions of the guy you're talking to. He might want to get to know you, or he might want to slip something in your drink as soon as you go to the bathroom. And that's pretty freaking scary.
Navigating the dating culture in college is hard, and I'll be the first one to admit it. But I'll give the same advice as I give my friends when they're crying over a stupid boy they met at a stupid party. Don't look for guys in sketchy places. Try talking to the smart guys in class or the guys you always see studying in the library. Go for the guys you meet in school clubs, not nightclubs. There are good guys everywhere but if you're always looking for them in the wrong places you're going to find the wrong guys.
