Dating is hard enough, but when you add someone who doesn’t share values or beliefs to a certain extent, it can get complicated. I have dated two guys that have not shared my beliefs, and neither of those relationships turned out very well. In one of the relationships, I wanted to fix him. In the other relationship I thought I could be a good influence. Neither of the relationships turned out well, and now I know why. Neither of the boys I dated were Christians. There were too many variables at hand in those relationships. It may sound prejudice, but I don’t want to date someone who isn’t a Christian.

Beliefs are what make you who you are. Beliefs outline every part of you. They help shape what you like and what you don’t like. If your core beliefs don’t line up with someone you’re dating, why would you date them? The beliefs may not make your significant other a terrible person, but it could cause more conflict than needed. If one of you is a Christian and the other is a Buddhist, what happens if you two get married and have kids? Will you let your kids choose what god they want to worship? Or would you force both religions on your children, hoping they turn out okay? A conflict of core beliefs isn’t good for any kind of relationship.

Christians shouldn’t date someone who’s not a Christian because you shouldn’t want to feel like you must “fix” the other person. My general rule is if there is anything about someone that I would want or need changed, then I probably just shouldn’t date said person. But sometimes you may feel like you can reach out to your significant other and change their views, that you could be a great influence. To quote the Big Man, you shouldn’t be “unequally yolked.” That means that you shouldn’t be with someone who has different beliefs. I’m not talking about disagreeing about music or food. You can be a great influence as a friend, and maybe one day if their views and beliefs match up with yours something could happen. But until then, steer clear.

The whole point of dating is to find the person you’re supposed to be with for the rest of your life, right? So think about it. What kind of beliefs and values would you want your future spouse to hold? So why would you waste your or someone else's time dating someone who’s beliefs and values do not match up with yours? You don’t have to be the same person. But you should at least want to have the same core values. It's not only that the relationship could not last, but God Himself says we should date people with whom we are equal in faith. And if it's good enough for the Big Man, it's good enough for me.