Romance has become undermined by the concept of social media and online dating sites. It has surpassed the physical, intimate attraction and connectedness between two individuals. We have come to see it as an illusion--a thumbs up and thumbs down button, a swipe to the left or to the right, or perhaps a chat-room. Is that really how people determine if they are compatible with someone else? What happened to the real romance we hear about from our own parents and grandparents or perhaps the ones we come across in documentaries on Facebook? The typical guy meets girl. Guy proclaims feelings for girl face-to-face. Guy opens door for girl. Guy holds girl's hand and makes her laugh over the silliest things. Guy takes girl out on a dinner date. Guy and girl have long, deep conversations on the phone. Guy values and respects the decisions girl makes. When I was a little girl, I lived for this. Knowing that one day it would be my turn. I know what you're thinking. This is no such thing as fairy tale love. And you're right. There's not. But how sad is it to think that this is hardly ever heard of anymore? It's considered old love. However, it doesn't have to be.
We all ponder from time to time: what if romance was like how it was back then? The truth is, we can't allow technology to redefine our love lives. We can't fear small talk or flirting in person. We can't become social robots. Nowadays, heartfelt sentiments are expressed through text message. Casual and non-threatening, right? Not quite. It's cool to clear up Friday night plans, but before you know it you are writing paragraphs in deep thought that you would be too scared to say your love interest in person. This ranges anywhere from "I love you" to "You mean the world to me"-- words that have come to loose meaning just because society has chosen to hide behind phone screens. Every aspect of dating has become rushed. Guys and girls don't actually go on dates with the person they meet online, instead they Face Time because its more "convenient." They don't take the time to get to know who is on the other end of the screen. Things are said through text that are not initiated in person, making it awkward. People then wonder why they get "screwed over" or why their relationship lacks substance. It's because relationships online are based off of the superficial. The outer. The physical attraction. But that only goes so far. At the end of the day, what do you have in common with that person? What is going to keep the relationship fresh and exciting? A phone screen shouldn't determine that. It is empty, idealistic love and unfortunately it is a real problem teens are facing in today's age.
Thorough communication is essential for a relationship between two people. Texting and dating sites could be seen as an easier way to flirt with someone or perhaps a way to save yourself from rejection. However, this is leading to a gap in communication. Although it may take less effort to send a text and there is more time to think about what you will reply next, talking on the phone or face-to-face is so much more personal and intimate. You get to hear the person's tone of voice, observe their body language, make eye contact, and get to know all of their quirks and habits. Some of the best conversations are the ones that spontaneously and naturally flow without having to think about what to type next and without making yourself seem like a different person over social media.
Before phones, guys and girls would actually meet up on blind dates. They would know exactly what they were looking for and what factors would determine if would want to meet with that person. And it would just unfold. People would actually take the time to get to know each other little by little, not all at once. That's what would make it interesting. But in today's age it's almost as if guys and girls are giving up. They are settling for what they can get. They are portraying themselves in a different light giving the person on the opposite end of the phone screen the wrong impression. Dating isn't a game. It's not about a new message, a new match, or a green button that lights up indicating that a person is online. It's about concrete interaction. It's about genuinely falling in love with that person. Finding someone who appreciates the finer things in life. Someone who values their relationship with their parents and with God. Someone who fully and assuredly pursues you.
Don't have that fear of being alone. Don't go out and seek that romance you've been wishing for on social media. Timing is everything. Perhaps set some ground rules for yourself. Wait for the one that gives you butterflies. There is so much more you don't even know you're missing out on by feeding into online dating sites. Let's bring back old love.
