At this point, you're probably confused and thinking, "Well, why in the hell not?!"
Trust me, I know it sounds crazy and you probably assume I'm a shut-in who's never experienced any movie with Channing Tatum. Let me tell you, I have seen Magic Mike and XXL (yum) and I fully appreciate the male anatomy in the abdominal region. Can I get an amen for male strippers?
But hold up, that's exactly the point. You watch those movies and take your ladies out to a male strip bar, just to look at the abs and the booty and the toned arms...
The problem with this whole concept is the fact that when you think of a dude with abs, you don't contemplate the person inside the body. Let me tell you a little story of the time I settled for a guy with a six pack and why it's toxic 95% of the time.
Okay, so, when I was roughly 16 years old and a junior in high school, I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship with a guy I loved and wasn't handling it well. I just wanted to feel loved again, and boy, did I go about it the wrong way. I started talking to 10-15 dudes that I hadn't even met before; flirting and sending cute snaps for them to notice me. Then, one day, a guy named... let's call him George. Well, George was on the wrestling team and had dark hair and a jawline from the gods. Oh, and ABS. Like full-on, Zac Efron style six-pack.
He noticed me. Liked me. Wanted to hang out.
I said yes.
So, we started hanging out. Most of the time at my house, in my basement, and we'd watch movies. He liked the gory, scary movies, which sucked because I always had nightmares. But I sucked it up and took one for the team. I mean, I could've just stared at his arms the whole movie anyway. We'd cuddle and that was all we would do. I swear, we only ever had three real conversations in our whole relationship. If you could even call it that. Once I actually realized the kind of guy he was (jerk, conceited, boring), I went into denial. I kept telling myself that it wasn't that bad.
It was.
Eventually, I found out that he was talking to two other girls while we were dating and I dumped that douche canoe. The worst part was that it didn't faze him. It's like I never existed.
After that, I had ab withdrawals and watched every chick flick known to man. But I was happier knowing that I made the right choice and saved myself from further heartbreak.
Two weeks. It was the shortest relationship that I'd ever had.
Now, I'm in a loving relationship with a boy who has beautiful blue eyes, a sarcastic humor, a glowing smile, and he respects me. No. He doesn't have abs or a booty carved straight from God's hands. But he has my heart and my soul. I never worry about his intentions or where his head is at. Personally, abs are just muscles in the stomach, so why do we care about them so much? I have muscles in my smile, in my feet, and in my ears. You don't see me getting drooled over for them, do you? It's just a belly. Everyone has one.
Moral of the story, don't get blinded by lust. Or Zac Efron. Because yes, I saw you scroll back up to look again. Find a dude with strong morals, not abdominals.
Stay classy, ladies.
