English majors. The stereotypes abound — that they're either going to teach or be homeless, that all they do is read books, that they're just burning their parents' tuition money, etc. It's quite a weight to endure. But, rest assured, for all the crap English majors get, there are definitely some redeeming qualities (all of which may or may not be listed below). Maybe they're not the most steady, stable educational breed out there, but trust me, they make things interesting.
Warning: Sweeping generalizations and self-indulgence ahead.
1. You'll never get bored.
All those books they read? Awkward silences, begone! They'll regale you with tales of murderous husbands, mind-boggling philosophies, thought-provoking revolutionaries, and an endless array of future dystopian possibilities. (It's interesting, I promise!)
2. Say hello to your Sparknotes replacement.
Speaking of books, you won't even have to read certain books to reference them. You don't need Sparknotes — you have an English major to help you! And when you're talking to someone you need to impress, you can totally throw in that very-pretentious-but-effective Shakespeare line. (It's up to you to remember if it's Richard III or Henry V, though.)
3. There will always be someone willing to edit your paper.
Even if it's 15 pages long. And your grammar will improve exponentially. It's basically a rite of passage.
4. Love poetry, anyone?
Love songs? Love... prose? You don't even need to ask for it (à la Sara Bareilles). And if they're multitalented, as the literary types often are, they will probably serenade you or paint you or something too.
5. Besides all that, they will quote love verses at random moments, and it'll be beautiful.
(Bonus points if you can respond, but if not... they'll understand.)
6. They think. A LOT.
And while this might be intimidating, it also means they're more likely than not to be considerate and extremely empathetic. All those years of "walking in the shoes" of the thousands of literary characters pay off.
7. It's not hard to buy gifts for them.
A thoughtful book choice is always appreciated, and since many literary types take the notion of "it's the thought that counts" seriously, the little things count (like handmade cards!).
8. They'll dedicate things to you.
And it'll be awesome.
9. They love Harry Potter.
Why is this a reason, you ask? Um, when is it ever not a consideration when dating someone?
10. Dates will almost always be fun and quirky, unique and curious.
And if you're lazy? No problem! Curling up with a fleece blanket and some hot chocolate is basically every English major's dream setting (although usually they have a book in hand rather than a... significant other in her arms).
11. They'll always have coffee.
They've got you covered.
12. They enjoy their alone time.
Clinginess will not be an issue. (In fact, often the difficult part is pulling them out of whatever world they're lost in.)
13. They're smart and passionate.
Because you know if they chose English, then they choose for love. (Hopefully that doesn't turn out to be a bad thing.)
But if you screw with them, be prepared to be absolutely destroyed by words you didn't even know could be used that way. All in good humor, friends.
