Darling, You Don't Need A Man To Be Happy
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Darling, You Don't Need A Man To Be Happy

Loving yourself simply has to come first.

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Darling, You Don't Need A Man To Be Happy
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From one girl with "daddy-issues" to another, let me get one thing straight. Yes, naturally we have a want for male attention. Perhaps those same men or man that you've struggled with in the past have created a seemingly un-fillable void within you. This empty feeling is most easily filled with male attention, even though men were the source of your troubles before.

While this may seem like an endless cycle of pain and misery on your part, I am telling you now, the cycle does not have to continue. I am unable to stress how important three things are in order for you to move on with a life that does not involve seeking out a man to save you.

You have to love yourself. When girls crave male attention, it is likely due to having a low self-esteem. This can involve anywhere from having insecurities to hating themselves. The first step is being able to accept who you are.

Gradually, you have to try to find the positives about yourself. No one is perfect and there is always something we can work on. Learning to love yourself and who you are can be a very difficult process and takes different people different amounts of time to accomplish. But if you know that your self-esteem is not where it should be, the best thing you can do for yourself is to focus on you and not get into a relationship.

If you are struggling with yourself, there are other people you can go to like friends, family, or at least someone you trust. By resorting to comfort from a man (love interest), you are giving into the endless cycle previously described. If you haven't noticed, which I'm sure you have, boys who are only interested in girls for sexual reasons have a tendency to look for vulnerability. Therefore, by going to them looking for comfort or compliments to try to boost your self-esteem, you are likely to attract the type of guy that no girl should want.

"All of our relationships depend upon our relationship with ourselves. If you don't love yourself, you can't possibly love someone else." -Unknown

You have to forgive who has hurt you. If you spend your time focused on your anger towards whoever has hurt you in life, you will never be able to move on and find happiness. You will most likely find yourself trying to show off, in other words, prove to them that you are better off without them. This, of course, is probably true. But if you continue to care about what they think, if they think of you, or if they regret hurting you, then that only shows how much you still care.

The only true way you can move on is when you stop caring. In order to do this, you have to forgive them. This is doing you a favor rather than pleasing them. That does not mean you have to let that person back into your life. It simply means that you accept the past as the past and you do not want to hold onto anger any longer.

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."
- Paul Boose

You actually have to try. We have all said that we wouldn't text someone back and yet we end up doing just that anyway. If you want to grow as a stronger, healthier, woman, you have to put your words into action. Make the conscious effort and actually avoid behaviors you know will only hurt you later. If you struggle with seeing unhealthy signs, start looking for them. Once you see them and attempt to stop them, you won't believe how much it can change your life.

"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions." -Dalai Lama

Now, I know all of this may seem far-fetched and impossible to maintain. But if you believe that you are dealing with a need for male attention, you have to remember that you can overpower it. This fight might be one you have to go through every day. It is up to you to ask yourself if you are happy, truly and genuinely happy. Because if you aren't, it is possible to create your own happiness.

By doing this, you will find that you become so much more independent. While you have the support of loved ones, not needing to find comfort in men relieves you of such a huge burden. Every girl should get to feel that feeling of being able to be happy on their own. When you are, your life will become happier too and future relationship(s) will be so much more successful. But right now, you can work on being happy for you and no one else. And who wouldn't want that?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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