I have butterflies in my stomach. Or knots. Butterflies sound cute, light, and colorful. Like a good thing. But no, my stomach was in knots. Complicated, twisted, and definitely not cute—this is what auditioning does to me. The thought of people watching me and judging to see if I’m good enough in their eyes…it scares the living daylights out of me. In this moment, I start to question all of my life choices that led me to this point. Why did I join color guard where auditioning was a requirement? Why did I choose to move 616 miles away from my safe and secure home in Michigan (where I already had a guard) to a college in Philadelphia where I had to tryout for a new guard?
Why did I have to like guard so much?...Actually like is an understatement. Color guard is my greatest passion in life…which is where I find my answer…Because I live for those moments when the adrenaline is rushing through my veins from just completing an almost flawless show. Because if I make the team, then I’ll get to spin again and perform til my heart’s content. Because I wouldn’t be who I am without it. Because it will be worth it. I am going to put myself out there, and hope it works out.
I walk in front of the judges and take my staring pose in first position, remembering to look up, project upwards and perform with so much emotion that it’ll shake the judges ice cold eyes (or at least that’s what I tell myself.)
I take a breath, and for the next fleeting moments of my life, I give everything I have to that one performance. The music plays and I smile, I spin, I toss, I dance, I am living.
I spin, therefore I am.
Then it is all over. The music has stopped. There is no more choreography to perform. The anxiety-ridden-moments from before have passed. It is done. I gave it my best shot and have no regrets. The nerves from before are long forgotten amongst my heart that was set a flight from the adrenaline rush of performing.
And that my friend, is what I encourage you to do everyday. Do the thing that scares you. It will be worth it. Even if you don’t get the end result that you want, at least you would have created the opportunity during which something great could have happened. I don’t believe in guarantees in life, but what I can guarantee is that if you don’t try something new or considered “risky,” then you will go through life having never truly lived.
Don’t let your fears define you. Don’t let them create a set of limitations that become a cage around your life. Opportunity doesn’t come knocking on your door when it’s convenient for you, you have to make you own opportunities by putting yourself out there. I dare you to do something you have never done be before.
Adventure is out there, I dare you to create yours.
