"Am I loved? What's this empty feeling?" is one of the scariest things to ask yourself. It's not easy to come to terms with your problems.
They say the best way to solve a problem, is to go back and see how the problem started. The truth of the matter is that we all have some work to do within ourselves. Every day, we are growing and becoming a different person than who we were yesterday. It's natural, terrifying, and painful. We try to escape this empty feeling by filling that void with something. That something may be good or bad.
Eventually, the void is filled again with whatever you find. You seem to feel okay and back to normal. Days go by and the black hole begins to appear once again. You thought it was over. You sit there and look in the mirror and say, "Why me?" and "Am I not enough?"
Then there comes along this cycle of repeating ourselves. We do the same thing over and over again and we see no change. That is when we are basically becoming insane—Einstein's definition of insanity (doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results). It's a crime that we all commit at one point in our lives. You've done everything you can to feel better or heal.
Maybe you should go and JUST love YOURSELF. We NEVER get that chance to fully find out who WE are. We rather sit there and have someone love us for us. There's nothing wrong with that, but there are a time and a place for everything.
Here's something that can give you courage to love yourself. I call it the "Love Vault." It's everything inside of you that God himself planted there, but it's only for you to find the code and unlock the beauty inside of it (you). Tap into your mind and view yourself through God's eyes. Inside of your "Love Vault," there may be instructions like: go and run a bubble bath, light some candles and play some smooth music—music that puts you into another dimension. When is the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone? Place inspirational quotes around your house. Turn on your favorite song and dance like no one's watching. Fall in love with yourself and love who you are. Go to God to fill that void and I promise you that void will never become empty again.
God is the only one that can complete you. Once you're complete within, no one and nothing can stop you. At the end of the day, you have to lay down with you and feel comfortable in your own skin. I can say all of this because I too went through the empty spell. That spell seemed like it lasted forever. I tried everything to cross over that bridge until I realized that I needed to fall in love with myself. By far one of the best choices I've ever made. It's just me, myself, and I (and God). No one ever tells us that WE should be our first love. Take some time out for yourself and become the person God wants you to be.
"There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful than a woman being unapologetically herself. Comfortable in her own perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty." - Steve Maraboli