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18 Dad Jokes You Need To Annoy Your Family This Summer

What's the best time to go to the dentist?

Father and daughter

If you're a college student, there's a high probability that you're out of school--and spending more time with your family. It can be hard to settle back into a rhythm with your family after so much time apart. Here is your solution: annoy them to tears with these so-bad-they're-good dad jokes.

1. How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them!

2. Want to hear a joke about paper?

Nevermind, it's tearable.

3. Did you get a haircut?

No, I got them all cut.

4. Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.

5. What did the grape do when he got stepped on?

He let out a little wine.

6. What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

7. I've never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot.

8. People don't like having to bend over to get their drinks.

We really need to raise the bar.

9. Today my son asked, "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.

Eleven years old, and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

10. My wife is angry with me because I have no sense of direction.


So I packed up my stuff and right.

11. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

It's impossible to put down!

12. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I'll let you know.

13. What is the least spoken language in the world?

Sign language!

14. My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up man, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."

I know he means well.

15. Justice is a dish best served cold.

If it were served warm, it would be justwater.

16. There are three unwritten rules to life:




17. If you see a robbery at the Apple store...

...does that make you an iWitness?

18. A termite walks into a bar and asks:

"Is the bar tender here?"

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