Dad, you are lost. Please ask for directions. We have all said this and we will continue to say this for the rest of our lives. Let me preface this statement by saying I love my dad, but he is utterly confused and continuously getting lost. This past summer I went on a family vacation to Spain. My father wanted to appear as a "local" so he learned how to ask directions in spanish. My father does not speak Spanish nor know any directions in Spanish, so when he would ask for directions in his google translated sentence, he would get a response in Spanish, because of course he would that makes sense. Instead of bothering to risk embarrassment he would nod his head and just continue to wonder down the street. This is when I decided enough was enough and a dad getting lost PSA was necessary. Here are the very logical and slightly emotional reasons why society needs a procedure to combat fathers around the world saying " it's just over there".
- I've been walking all day
I'm lazy enough as it is. I'm not complaining about traveling, but I just stood and starred at a blank canvas in a museum for a half an hour and pretended like I got it. The last thing I want to do is try to find this restaurant or museum and end up wondering for hours. You might think that getting lost is adventurous and exciting, but I believe your forcing me to work out.
- Mom isn't going to put up with it much longer
She is trying to support you through better or worse. However this is bad and it is getting very worse. I suggest you find wherever you are going, because soon she will make you just get in a taxi or put another family member in charge.
- We aren't 5- 10 minutes away
You don't know where we are, so there is no reason to put a time stamp on arriving at our destination. Lying about how much longer will not make me feel better, frankly it will make me feel worse because after the 10 minute mark I will have an emotional breakdown and just sit down on the sidewalk. Truth is by saying 10 minutes that actual 1 hour walk will feel like years.
- Neither is it one more left or right away
Lets be honest there is no proof of a left or right coming up, but putting in twists and turns into the journey makes our travels seem much more exciting. If I see that Mcdonalds one more time I am going to again end up sitting on the ground of a busy sidewalk.
- Last time we ate was hours ago
If I am walking all day my stomach has to be refilled basically every 30 minutes. As we walk past restaurant after restaurant I begin to feel like I am Window shopping in Rodeo Drive, but i can't afford anything. Food becomes a rare, but very wonderous treasure that I need to have by my side.
- There is no shame in asking for directions
People get lost all the time. Just ask. Please. Just ask. We are never going to see this person ever again.
- You can't figure out a map so having one doesn't matter
Maps aren't cute. Nothing screams tourist like a map, so if you have one you might as well flaunt it. Thus, you need to know how to read it. Having it crumpled up in the bottom of your black Northface backpack underneath your SPF 70 sunscreen, baseball hat and travel books with all the "hacks" about visiting wherever you are.
- I am about to throw a fit
I might be over the age of 18, but I have perfected a tantrum throughout many years of practice and the damage I can do as an "adult" in unimaginable.
- There are taxi's, buses and trains everywhere
Walking therefore equals unnecessary.
