If cuteness is what you seek, look no further! Springer, the little rascal, just asked me who I'm voting for to be President of the United States in the upcoming 2016 election. I almost died when Springer opened his fluffy little jaw and explained the magnitude that this election will have on the fate of our country: "Who are you voting for? Please tell me you have been paying attention to the election thus far and have considered the potential consequences that could arise with each candidate's presidency?" Aaaaaw!! I couldn't help myself, I started scratching his ears and shaking his widdle paws. Then Springer did the most adorable thing, he yawned a long slow yawn and made a tiny squeak at the end of it! Then Springer said, "I've heard you say some very unflattering things about only one of the candidates. One could assume that, based on the things you have said regarding Hillary Clinton, that you are considering voting for Donald Trump. Please tell me you are not voting for Donald Trump. Please. I have seen you express negative feelings only about Hillary Clinton, but I have not yet heard you disclose your opinion on Donald Trump. It is very important for me to hear you say that you will not vote for Donald Trump in this election or any presidential election hereafter." #Adorbs.
I could sense Springer wanted to go walkies, so out we went. You expect me to resist a face like that? Uh, yeah, sure buddy. We're dealing with a category five cuteness warning for this pup. During walkies, Springer saw a tree he liked in the neighbor's yard and went potty. Springer lifted his leg, looked me in the eyes, and made an emotional plea to influence my decision this November as stream of golden pee-pee fell against the bark. "Do you know the family that lives in that house? One of the candidates has openly advocated that they should not be allowed to live here because of the religious beliefs they practice. That candidate is named Donald Trump. Please do not vote for him as the next President of the United States." Springer kicked up some dirt and resumed his carefree, steady trot down the sidewalk. "The things Donald Trump has said at his political rallies have encouraged racist and xenophobic people to be more vocal and aggressive with acts of hatred against people of color. I am not saying you are a racist if you vote for Donald Trump, but I beg you, please consider the long-endured suffering that could be amplified against a large population of this country should he be elected. At this point in the race, if someone is voting for Donald Trump it is safe to assume they do not care about the well-being of other human beings and are willing to risk the lives of others so that they do not personally feel bad voting for Hillary Clinton." Boom. Cuteness explosion.
When we got back to our apartment, Springer whimpered and rolled onto his back, exposing his coconut-colored tummy. Quick, call a medic, we got a doggy down! Springer began to act tough and growl so we romped around and had a tug of war battle with his favorite chew-toy. In between tugs and through clenched teeth, Springer said something so cute I almost cried from emotional over-stimulation. "He asked about nuclear weapons! Even if the rest of the human race does not matter to you, surely your instinctual feelings of self preservation would allow you to see that this person should not be given the most powerful position on the planet with access to one of the strongest military powers on Earth? He has repeatedly voiced his violent intentions and claimed his admiration for several contemporary dictators. He is a threat to the stability of our existence, yours and mine, and we have a rare chance to see exactly what a candidate's intentions are before the election. I trust you will not vote for Donald Trump, but I need you to verify that with me for me to be comfortable being around you." I finally released the toy to Springer. He wins every time!
Without warning, the world's most loveable pooch rushed to his food bowl. I know what that means! All that hard work made him hungry. He's been such a good boy lately, so I shared a little peanut butter with my best friend. Well, maybe a lot of peanut butter. I just gave him the remnants of the jar. I sat mesmerized by the innocence of his species, watching this care-free canine devour the contents of the jar, when he finally looked up at me with the jar still stuck on his snout. Can he be any more adorable? I immediately took a picture, but while tagging the message "peanut butter muzzle," some cuddly-wuddly sounds rang from the now hollow jar.
"I am not being dramatic. This presidential election will have more significance than any before. Even some staunch Republicans have urged their colleagues and followers to vote for Hillary Clinton and not Donald Trump. Does that not prove how grave the current situation is? Promise me you will not squander your ballot this November and you will seriously weigh the potential outcomes of a presidency under each candidate."
Springer then proceeded to crap on the rug. Bad dog!
