The news of "Brangelina" splitting this week has shocked millions around the world but can we really say that we are surprised the couple has decided to part ways? It seems that divorce is the new norm in America- but at what cost? When did society's view of marriage shift so drastically? And when did it become so acceptable to part ways because of something as silly as “irreconcilable differences?”
The divorce rate amongst Americans is between 40-50 percent, with second and third marriages most likely to end. Celebrities, also have an incredibly high divorce rate, with many suggesting that divorce is just a natural part of life. To many, marriage has become nothing more than a sheet of paper and (maybe) a change of a last name. It is no longer valued as a holy covenant among the majority, nor is the phrase, “and the two shall become one” emphasized as important. The mere suggestion that two people are “stuck” together for life is just too much for non-committal people to handle. I mean, who really wants to be stuck with one person the rest of their life, doesn’t it get boring? Culture seems to suggest so. Since most people are also choosing to have pre-marital sex, the need for an old, ancient document signed by a state official stating that you are "legally bound" is not worth their time. The tradition of marriage for most is often nothing more than a Pinterest perfect ceremony, a kind-of-white dress and a marriage that may have an "expiration date."
Our culture has suggested that traditional marriage vows are overrated, and something more like this is fitting for our 21st century, forward-minded society that goes something like this:
"I, ___, take you, ___, to be my lawfully wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward (or until I get bored), for better, for worse (or unless things get too hard), for richer, for poorer (well, actually my money isn’t your money), in sickness and health, until death do us part (or I find something or someone better). I, ___, take you, ___, to be my husband/wife (for now, but maybe not forever).”
Since values, morality, and conviction are continuously decreasing in this world, traditions in many contexts have disappeared. Gone are the days where most engaged couples waited until they became Mr. and Mrs. to live together, with the number waiting to have until marriage being even slimmer. Instead, many dating couples are now doing a “test drive” of their relationship, being sure to try living together- because if it doesn’t work, you can get out fast. It’s incredible how relationships, and marriage these days have similar guidelines of let's say... leasing a car. You drive the car for a while, and everything seems to be to your satisfaction. After a while, the newness may wear off, you reach the mileage limit or get tired of driving the same thing- so you return it without any questions asked. Maybe you really like the car you drove, and eventually, you decide to commit to buying the car- but testing was needed to ensure you're making the right decision.
Marriage is far from a test drive or a car lease- it can't and shouldn't be something that is so easy to trade in or quit. Marriage is a choice to live a life full of selflessness, putting the needs of your spouse ahead of your own. It's promising that even in the really hard times, respect and faithfulness will be on full display. It is a commitment, in front of your friends and family, that you will have honor one another- promising to fight for and not against. Most importantly, marriage was designed by God as a covenantal commitment and promise for future love in all circumstances.
The moment we take our eyes off of commitment, tradition and morality is the same moment that we conform to the rest of society; which considers marriage to be a temporary option. Whether you are single, engaged or married, be someone willing to hold marriage to the standard in which God created it to be. Therefore, what God has joined together let no man separate.
