I remember looking at myself in the mirror and saying the words “I. Am. Ready.” I didn’t have time to think about it any further or doubt it because it was cuffing season. As the leaves changed color and rumors of early snowfall filled the Hill, I felt the mounting pressure to seek out a partnership. I was looking for someone who would cater to my needs, as I catered to theirs. I was looking for benefits that outweighed the cons. I didn’t know how long it would last but I knew this— I was not about to spend the summer alone.

So there I was picking out the perfect pictures for that Tinder profile. The bio must’ve been the hardest part One, how do I sell myself without seeming narcissistic? Two, how much of this do they actually read? Three, Even if they swipe right, what are the chances that I’ll be asked out on a date?

In case my initial plan flopped, I needed a backup that would raise my chances at success. That’s when it hit me and the introvert in me wanted to hide away in a hole.

Going out. It’s supposed to be fun, right? Get dressed up and feel good about yourself while questioning why you really put so much effort. Go casual or show up looking like a snack. Hang out with your friends or go fishing a little if there’s decent eye candy at the function. All of it seems foreign at first but this uncomfortable bit will open the door to the fun stuff.

There was dead silence for two seconds before my phone went off in the dark. There it was. When I least expected, when I had lost hope it would happen, someone wanted a date with me. At this point, you’re playing the field

Now, there are three kinds of people you meet during cuffing season

1. The Ghost:

They’ve earned this name because they do just that. They were initially your first choice. They made you excited to be back in the game. Every time you went out looking good, you hoped you might bump into them and spark a conversation. You thought they were the one… until the cold set in. You started double texting, leaving voicemails and even trying to figure out fake reasons to call them. Then one day, when your patience has worn thin and you don’t have enough energy to keep doing the most, you ask, “What are we?” If you’re at that point, you already know their answer will be as unsatisfactory as their behavior. “You’re great but I’m not looking for anything just yet and I’m just trying to find myself.” Walk away, run…or better yet, GET OUT.

2. The Hook:

This is the one that quite literally have on a hook. They’re wrapped around your finger. You may not realize it but, to them, you’re the Ghost. You keep them around because they’re convenient. You merely have to breathe and they already think that everything you do is the bomb diggity. However, you keep them at arm’s length because there’s something about being fetishized by someone who doesn’t really know you that well. You will always answer their texts really late but never delete their number.

3. The ONE

You will find them when you’re not looking. They’ll show up when you didn’t even realize you had already started giving up. At first, you’ll doubt that you’re even their type. You telling yourself that they would never be interested is your first defense mechanism. Your feet are so close to edge but you’re about to let fear almost hold you back from dipping your toes in the water. Then you realize the water might not be as cold as you think. Next thing you know, even if a little push from a friend got you there, you take the plunge. Not too deep and not too shallow. This is the one that you didn’t think would come through because you’ve been drafted so late in the season. It’s the one that came together so slowly that you didn’t realize soon enough that they were your best option all along.

Why would I write an article about this in the middle of March? Valentine’s Day is long gone, the snow has melted in most states and the majority of us might still be single. The truth is that cuffing season is not just about dating. The Ghost could the employer that never even called for an interview or the grad school that sent you a painful letter. The hook may be the position you’re overqualified for or the shallow friendship that survives on nothing but small talk in the hallway. At the end of the day, you deserve to find the One. The “One” that I speak of is the job that caters to your growth and development, not just your 9 to 5 paycheck. This “One” is the friend that doesn’t watch you cry when things get tough but rather cries with you. This “One” will make you so happy that your forgo the pessimism that you go through much of your life with.

Too often we get caught because the process doesn’t happen fast enough. The reality of it all is these things happen when they’re meant to. Maybe cuffing season didn’t work out for you but it did for your friends because you’re still in training season. That break you’ve been waiting for hasn’t come through yet, not because it never will, but because your greater moments are further down the road.

So as the icy sidewalks melt and the leaves grow back, remember to take in the color in the world around you. Inhale the fresh air and soak in the sun. The one thing that we as humans could learn from nature is that everyone is responsible for their own growth and that contentment is much more achievable when all the comparisons to other people’s situations stop.