I have to say, 2018 has been a fun year so far in my life, specifically in sports. The Eagles won the Super Bowl and the rest of my teams are making serious moves towards contention. Sadly, we are in what I like to call "sports purgatory." It's that dreaded few months where the only professional sport on television is baseball. I love some good baseball, but having nothing else to watch makes me very, very upset.
However, 2018's summer provided us with one saving grace during these trying times: the World Cup. The 21st edition of the World Cup kicked off a little over a month ago and by the time this article is published, there will be a new champion. The most popular sporting event in the world has reached a near halt, but I still get to root for my new favorite team on Sunday: Croatia.
There are a few reasons that Croatia has become my defacto team on account that the United States is incredibly bad at soccer and missed the cut to even play in the tournament.
First and foremost, Ivan Rakitick has the coolest name in the tournament hands down. It flows nicely and he's a nasty soccer player, so that's a good enough reason for me.
Secondly, Croatia is a master troll country and there's nothing I respect more than a good troll game. How are they trolls? Well, I know absolutely nothing about Croatian history. They never popped up in war and I have no connection so I really couldn't care less about how they were founded etc. However, the way their land is divided up is masterful.
Bolivia does not get to see any water. Wikipedia
Like I said, I'm not really educated on how this happened, but Bolivians just apparently don't get to go swimming. Or maybe they're just scared of water and they asked the Croatians to handle it for them. Not really sure, but either way it looks like an A1 troll job to me.
Finally, I'm ecstatic about Croatia because in the semifinals they became a true ally of America. Croatia did something that America also did: took down England after being behind. The American revolution was a much larger lead for England.
Fake SportsCenter/Twitter
Still, capitalizing on a blown lead from England is about as American as it can get in this tournament since our players are all chilling at home. Some people like England now, but I could not be happier they're out of the tournament. I mean, this is a country whose leaders are a tiny child and an old woman. And for their very important wedding, they moved all the homeless people out of the way. Because that's how you face your problems right? Hide them from everyone's sight?
Croatia is a true ally to us now and should be treated as a friend. Anything Croatia needs, we've got them. Stay trolling and upsetting Croatia. Good luck against France.
