You know how they say sometimes an idea just hits you? Well as I was pondering what to write about this week, my inspiration quite literally hit me. One of my classmates's aluminum water bottles fell off her desk and made the most obnoxious clang sound you'd ever heard, and it rolled on over to my foot. I handed it to her and she said "Thank you", and I said "No, thank YOU!" with a smirk on my face because she did not know she just inspired a list of the most annoyance class distractions.
1. Yes, the water bottle
I'm all for staying hydrated, really. Saving the environment? Sign me up! But these aluminum water bottles actually must be prone to falling. I'll be taking a test or finally paying attention, and all of a sudden the peace is broken with a "BANG!" that makes everyone jump followed by a quiet "Sorry!" Those things need foam covers or something because the amount of times my heart stops in class from that noise is becoming unhealthy.
2. The gum-chomper
It's as if inspiration was flying at me all in one class. Following the water bottle, a classmate sitting near me popped a piece of gum in their mouth. I didn't think anything of it until I experienced the loudest gum chewing I ever did hear. I chew gum too, but I'd rather not hear chomping and bubble-popping louder than my thoughts or the prof's voice. You know when it starts too, that it is not stopping until class is over.
3. The sniffler
Getting a cold in college is inevitable, but sniffling every FOUR SECONDS in class is so unnecessary. Please bring some tissues, pull a "She's the Man" and put a tampon in your nose, anything! Honestly I prefer the sleeve-wipers to the snifflers, assuming they wash their clothes...
4. The keyboard slammer
I find myself doing this sometimes, unfortunately. I understand getting really into your notes or a paper, but when there are no notes to take and the class is silent, I'm confused as to why that ONE person sounds like they're using a typewriter from ancient times.
5. The heavy metal
Walking into class with your music still playing in your headphones is totally normal. However, I do cringe a bit when you can hear the music so clearly, you don't understand how the person's eardrums aren't bleeding. And it's almost always heavy metal or rock, right? It just seems so intense I don't understand how it's not enough at a lower volume. Some of these show-offs even take it to the next step, and leave their headphones around their neck to share their music with the world. Those are usually the SoundCloud artists.
6. Like nails on a chalkboard
Despite Michigan State University's "pride in their high-tech facilities", all of my classrooms have chalkboards. You know that noise the chalk makes when your prof decides to underline something slowly but surely? That squeaky, chalky noise is enough to make me cringe the rest of the class time.
7. And the pencil version of that
This is the keyboard slamming of the handwritten note-takers. The pencil that squeaks because they are pressing so hard, similar to the chalk. Or slamming their pencil on the paper to start every new word. This truly only comes up during exams, because the noise is just loud enough to fill the silent space and make you go crazy during a test.
8. Man-handling paper
Some people just think that flipping a page in your book or notebook requires rustling and obnoxious movement, but it just doesn't. Also, I don't want to stay in class any longer either, but slamming your book and shoving papers in your bag halfway through class? Hmm..
9. The door
We all love B115 Wells. Those big lecture halls mean you're going to class to online shop and get other homework done. But that door where you have to push the silver bar in? That shit's obnoxious. And when it slams 100 times per class, it just becomes white noise.
10. The voice
Here's the worst one. That moment when the teacher's pet raises their hand and asks a lengthy question towards the end of class that nobody understands. You know when you hear their voice, there's no going back.
