For a few months now, there have been random ass clowns legit running around the country. These aren’t the friendly clowns you’re used to seeing at the circus all jumping out of the tiny car. They also aren’t the clowns you see in the Thanksgiving Day Parade cutting the ribbon with my boy Al Roker every year. There clowns are most definitely not the ones you see at a children’s birthday party who are pretty miserable in life because they’re a clown at a child’s birthday party, no. These clowns are ones who are aggressive, creepy, and quite honestly annoying.
It all started in South Carolina when these young kids started telling each other of these creepy clowns living at an abandoned house. Word spread like wildfire (of course, why wouldn’t it?), and made its way to the local police department. The cops were of course suspicious but nothing seemed off to them. Soon, the whole town was freaking out over these creepy clowns. The police warned residents to alert them if they see a clown and that it was “likely” a clown tried luring these boys into the woods.
Reports range from the clowns having knives, matches, large amounts of cash, and other things that would entice someone to go to the woods. But what would happen if they go to woods? I’m not sure about you, but this story reminds me somewhat of the Salem Witch Trials. A crazy rumor was started and spread like wildfire because again, why wouldn’t it? But anyway, it drove a city mad.
Unlike then when technology was not even a thing, this creepy clown epidemic blew up. And unlike then when everyone was busy, people are bored now. They have nothing to do. So they say “Oh, let’s go screw with people. We should paint our faces and sit in random places, creep people out, have the police get called, then scram.” Are they stupid? Come on! We don’t live in an innocent time when practical jokes can be taken lightly. We live in a scary world. There are real world threats like terrorism and mass shootings. We don’t have time for this.
The NYPD was extremely smart in this instance--they said they have no reason to take these clowns as a serious threat. Deputy Commissioner John Miller said, “Our main message is don’t believe the hype and don’t be afraid of the clowns.” The clowns themselves aren’t actually dangerous but again just stupid. Many schools throughout the country have been on lockdown or decided to close because “clowns have called in threats.” If these men and women weren’t behind a white face and red nose, they wouldn’t have made these threats.
On a handful of occasions, clowns have been arrested for these threats, loitering, and even chasing people. There have also been losers who’ve been arrested for making false claims about seeing clowns or being attacked by clowns and then calling the police. On Penn State’s campus in University Park, a legit riot happened. Mobs of students stormed the campus and went on a “clown hunt”, something becoming more and more relevant throughout the country. Campus police has been beefed up throughout the country.
In Syracuse, students claimed to see clowns outside a few dorms, around the quad, and on South Campus. Even a video appeared. It is unknown if the video is real or not, but DPS (the Syracuse campus police for those of you who don’t bleed Orange) has said all reports have been investigated and there were no threats but to still be cautious. With Halloween right around the corner, people are wondering what to expect. Here’s a simple piece of advice: if you see a clown that isn’t Ronald McDonald, Krusty, or Bozo…run.
