TUSCALOOSA, AL — Though he is aware that the women he is attracted to find him “creepy,” Local resident Dustin Phillips told reporters that he has no idea why he can’t find luck in dating.

Phillips has been in the dating pool for years without any luck, but it’s not for lack of trying. “I keep leaving girls notes saying how beautiful I think they are, and that just landed me with a restraining order,” said Phillips. “I think they’re upset that I’m not direct, so I’m trying something new.”

“Something new” is a series of tactics that Phillips is sure will work such as, offering to let women ride in his car alone with him, leaving comments on women's Facebook walls implying that would treat her better than her current boyfriend, and buying women lavish gifts that they can’t reciprocate. So far, the new tactics have proved to be just as “creepy” as the last. In fact, the new strategy has led to 92 percent of women responding with “creepy” when asked to describe Phillips, compared to his previous 78 percent.

“I’m not expecting anything in return, but I just think [the women] should be a little more grateful if you know what I mean,” Phillips commented, making a rude gesture.

When asked to comment, one woman suggested that one way he could come off as more attractive would be to “stop awkwardly touching [women], like on the shoulder and lower back.”

Most of the women he approaches, Phillips pointed out, are also in relationships, but he described his ideal woman as a “natural beauty” who is genuine and funny and lamented the fact that most of those women are stuck in relationships that aren’t good for them. He has also considered trying to take pictures of women he likes from behind and posting them on social media to get their attention.

When it was suggested to Phillips that he just ask a single woman like his acquaintance Wendy to lunch, Phillips said, “Ew, have you seen her leg hair?”