You know those moments when you're in public, and you see somebody who is just so beautiful and so magnificant you think you're in love with them? A total stranger, yet for the next half hour or so you can't stop thinking about them for some reason. You think you know them and you know you'd be perfect for each other. But sadly, you will probably never see them again. UNLESS they happen to check Craigslist's Missed Connections. That's right, there is such a thing. And you can post about all of your infatuations with these strangers, in the hopes that they'll see it and fall in love with you too. Here are some of my favorite posts from Craigslist's Missed Connections. (For most of them, it helps if you play careless whisper while reading them in a low sultry tone of voice.)
1) You Held The Door For Me - M4W
"You held the door open for me and gave me the nicest smile. I thought "could this be real? Could this beautiful lay be somehow attracted to me and possibly want to get to know me?" My head was spinning! What should I do? Then I realize that you worked there and held the door open for everyone.
Oh well, back to my mac n cheese."
Me too buddy, me too...
2) Accidentally swiped you the wrong way on Tinder - M4W
"Ay gurl, picture this: I'm on the toilet, Tindering hard like you know I do, when suddenly BAM. A sweet sugarfaced angelchild babydoll honeypie shows up on my Tinder.I am so in awe of your gorgeousity, that I accidentally swiped you left and drop a dook without even trying at the very same time."
This poor guy! I know we've all been there.. Maybe not exactly the same situation though..
3) To the beautiful lady who saw me pooping - M4W
"Look, I know it must have been awkward for you to see me in that state, and especially since it didn't seem to bother me that you walked in. We made eye contact for a brief moment, you have the most beautiful brown eyes (no pun intended). I said "hey beautiful lady" right as you slammed the door, and I meant it.Everyone poops, and now that you have seen me pooping I feel like we have already moved our relationship to a higher level. I hope the smell didn't offend you, I ate Indian food for lunch."
4) You farted in Trader Joe's - M4W
"You were the tall brunette with the near perfect body who farted in the bread section last night. I was the tall guy next to you that looked over and asked, "was that you?" You quickly replied, "No... Wasn't me!" You almost seemed insulted I would ask. As the stink grew you continued to deny your flatulence, but it was evident. You are beautiful and even though you are a liar and fart like a Clydesdale, I'd love to meet up sometime."
5) GENTLE GIANT NEEDED TO TRANSPORT LADY WOMAN BY FOOT (ALL OVER TOWN BABY)
"LISTEN, I'M STR8 CHILLIN AND NEED SOMEONE TO CARRY ME AROUND TOWN. THIS IS 100% REAL TALK ABOUT 100% REAL NEEDS."
I 100% relate.
