Classes have started and so has my therapy. With classes come new teachers, students, and buildings. All which make me feel uneasy. Every year I say I’m going to be honest and upfront with my teachers about everything. From my depression to my family tragedies. Not that I’m planning on having a bad semester but if I have a down day they can understand and not count it against me. Previous teachers have done exactly this which makes it hard to open up to them because they never asked they just judged.
So for the last two years I've taken two unexcused absences because I didn’t want to say I couldn’t make it out of bed due to my crippling depression. Or that going to class takes a lot of energy and a few panic attacks before I even get there. This is my fault, in a way I was ashamed. It was the stigma that surrounds mental illnesses like we are put on a “watch list”. I figured that right after I was honest with them I'd be treated "too" differently which isn’t good to draw more attention to the student with anxiety. But I was wrong. I judged this year’s teachers on last years’ experiences. For that I am apologetically sorry.
I learned that there are resources to accommodate people who struggle like me. From giving my teachers actual documentation of my illnesses they can be aware and will adjust their approach to me. I can take exams alone and not with the class because its less stressful. I will be more understood this way. Also this may get me on the right track this semester to actually show everyone what I’m made of.
This is just one way I am making sure I take care of myself this semester. I am more focused on my health than my grades. Not saying I don’t want good grades because I do but if it interferes with my sanity then it has to take a backseat for a minute. I know many won’t understand this because I’m in my junior year of college and I need to show everyone I am ready for the real world. Ironically that’s what I’m doing since I am no good to anyone if I can’t even get out of bed.
I guess I learned to take a chance and trust someone I normally wouldn't. Same can go for anyone struggling with depression, anxiety, bipolar, OCD, schizophrenia, etc. to reach out for help. But mainly don’t go silently let your voice be heard.
If it's an emergency in which you or someone you know is suicidal, you should immediately call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, call 911 or go to a hospital emergency room. - See more at: http://www.nami.org/Find-Support#sthash.Yeo9IhyQ.dpuf
- See more at: http://www.nami.org/Find-Support.aspx#sthash.kN1p88Yd.dpuf
Further information can be found on NAMI’s website: http://www.nami.org/Find-Support.aspx
