I would say that in high school, and even after, I was pretty social. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't popular or liked by a lot of people. But, the friends and family I did have managed to keep me on my toes having fun. In September, I became a mother to a beautiful baby girl. Although it was only 8 months ago, I’ve been going through this major change in my life for about a year and a half now. From the day I took the pregnancy tests (yes more than one, I didn’t believe it) I knew my life was drastically going to change. And I was right, It did. I was 18, pregnant, and soon to be very, very lonely.
Pregnant girls are no fun! Literally, I couldn’t party, I couldn’t drink (not that I was old enough anyways) and I was boring to everyone. I would say the hardest part of being pregnant was feeling alone and avoided. I went from always being busy & entertained, to twiddling my thumbs. I tried not to let it bother me, being that my blessing was far greater than any party I was missing, but it was hard to see it like that until I physically held her in my arms. It was hard not to feel like everyone had ditched the pregnant girl. However, once I held her, I realized nothing or nobody else really mattered.
Saying nothing or no one matters sounds harsh of me. I don’t mean it in any offensive way. I still dearly care for the people in my life. I love my family and the few friends that stuck around. However, I’m not caught up on who doesn’t call or text me anymore. I don’t care how many parties my friends attend without me. I am so blessed to have someone in my life who makes loneliness completely non-existent. I mean, how could I ever be lonely with a fun little girl who has a glowing personality and who advances and gets smarter as days go by? I can’t, it’s impossible for me.
Having my daughter made me appreciate the small things in life more. She made me realize how special the once boring movie nights are. She made me see how not being busy all the time is okay. She made me not be able to care about who’s there for me. She made me careless about who wants to hang out, or talk, or anything of that matter. She made me strong enough to not need anyone there for me. I had to learn to be her somebody and to be there whenever she needs me, which also taught me how to be my own somebody and to be there for myself.
One thing you can expect in life is for things to change as you grow. As you age, your social life may not be as entertaining. You might not go to parties, you might not see everyone every weekend. But, count your blessings and you will realize that things like that don't truly matter.
