Social anxiety, something I have dealt with for a very long time, is a big reason why I avoid going to public places where there will be large crowds. An exception would be going to the mall, because at the mall, you are not the center of attention. I recently went to an anime convention which challenged this. I was, in some aspects, the center of attention. I went to a convention called "Ramencon" in Indiana. I loved the atmosphere, the people, and all of the lovely costumes I saw there.
Cosplay is something I have never done before. I have only ever worn a costume once before this event and it was against my will. (I was being inducted into the National Honor Society in high school and was forced to dress as "Mario" from the "Super Mario Bros." franchise. And yes, I wore the mustache.) Long story short, I used to feel very self-conscious of being in costume. I also felt terrified of being in the spotlight when it came to large crowds. But this event was very different.
The character I chose to portray was "Stevonnie" from "Steven Universe". This character is not confined to a single gender, seeing as the character is a fusion between "Steven", the main character, who is male, and "Connie", his romantic interest, who is female. They make up "Stevonnie". This character, according to "Garnet", "is not two people or one person, but an experience." I love the concept and had a blast finding materials to make my costume. Because the character is similar to my complexion, I did not have to use any body paint. All I wore was a pink crop top with a giant yellow star painted on it (which I got from "Mercari.com"), a "Forever 21" baby blue tank top, Bermuda shorts I got from "JCPenney", and "Nike Comfort Plus" black flip flops (also from "JCPenney").
All in all, the costume was easy to assemble. I spent about $30-50 on the outfit itself. I dyed my hair a dark purple and wore it in curls. I wanted to embody "Stevonnie" in the simplest, yet most accurate way possible. I looked forward to people telling me how awesome my cosplay was. I was not disappointed when I arrived at the convention. Right away, people were talking to me, complimenting my costume.
Complete strangers were giving me compliments! I walked past a piano player, who started playing "Here comes a thought" (the only song "Stevonnie" has ever sang on the show) and my heart melted. I felt like I had found my people. While I was attending a panel on "Steven Universe", I felt very engaged in the conversation. Instead of dreading speaking in public, I was eager to raise my hand and talk. I was in the front row (very rare for me) and I was addressed by the character's name (also very interesting).
During the discussion, I never once felt like my opinions on different theories from the show were disregarded. I actually left the speakers speachless after I proposed that "Steven" would use his astral projection and healing powers to heal the corrupted gems, including "Jasper".
All in all, the convention helped me to explore a different side of myself. I was no longer a timid, shy, quiet anime nerd who would blend into the background. I got to express my love for one of the best animated shows of all time (in my opinion) and I didn't get any backlash from anyone for it. I was among my peers who also loved this show and who shared the same passion for it as I do.
I think it would be best for me in my near future to attend another anime convention, possibly dressed as another character, in order to break out of my shell once more.
