How Quarantine Impacted my Mind

Towards the beginning of Covid-19, it didn't really impact me. Yeah, my university decided to shut down on my 19TH birthday, people were fleeing for the hills, others were discussing how long it would be before we got back to campus. Me, thinking that we would only be gone for a few weeks, left most of my items in my dorm room as I headed back home. "It's not that serious! It won't impact us that harshly! I bet we'll be back within a few weeks and everything will be back to normal!" was my mindset. Boy was I wrong. Not only did the pandemic ruin people's lives, it impacted everyone across the world. Resulting in the loss of jobs, loss of lives, loss of toilet paper! The world had never experienced something this devastating.

I was at a loss for words and I still am. How could anyone prepare for something like this? Reluctantly, I returned to my home with my mom and my younger brother. My brother stopped going to school his senior year. He couldn't experience a prom, a graduation with thousands of people clapping for the class of 2020. Concerts and carnivals pushed aside. Staying within your homes was now a requirement. Being the introverted individual that I am, this would be easy! But now that we're nearly the end of May, it's finally hitting me like a bunch of bricks. The world is never going to be the same. Are face masks going to be required everywhere you go? (and even then people will refuse to wear them even if it's for their own safety and others). I guess it's finally taking a toll on me because of being inside my home with my mother. Yes she loves me, but we often don't see eye to eye on a lot of topics.

Generally I will choose to shut down and just follow what she says. "You looked skinner when you went to school." Stop eating. "You can't wear that. It's too short, you look like a prostitute." Cover up and hide your body. "Why are you arguing with me?! Are you talking back to your mother?!" Shut up and just internalize.

If anyone has been impacted by the current pandemic that is going on, I hope that you're doing well. I hope that everything is slowly beginning to work out for you, I just wanted to share what has been going on in my house and I'm just hoping to get it off of my chest.