learning to live your life after a death
Family Friends

Learning to Live Your Life After a Death

It's the circle of life, but it still hurts.

927
Learning to Live Your Life After a Death
Sydney Melocowsky

Over the last few days, I have been coping with the passing of my grandfather. My grandfather had a very unique and special relationship with each of his grandchildren, myself included, so when he died, I wasn't sure how to react. I remember immediately being overcome with an overwhelming sense of numbness and confusion. Trying to process the reality of a loved one's death is mentally exhausting. It's especially hard because you are forced to accept that the vivid memories you have with that person are somehow changed; you can remember the details, but the image is no longer the same.

Leading up to the funeral, you hear clichés like "they're in a better place now" or "everything happens for a reason", and whether you believe that or not, it still doesn't ease the pain of the loss, and it feels as though nothing will. There are, however, a few truths I have learned while trying to cope with my grandfather's death, and the realizations began while I was writing him a letter.

Writing to a deceased loved one can include anything that comes to mind. There is no right or wrong way to say goodbye. For me though, expressing how you feel and the memories you had is not about how many details you can fit onto the paper (unless, of course, it is helpful for you), but rather about what needs to be said to give yourself closure. More often than not, when someone passes away, they have had time to process their relationships with the ones they love, and, because of this, they usually know what it is you want to say. They know what is in your heart. A novel of expressing every previous memory with them isn't always necessary because those memories have not disappeared for them. Those memories, unlike most other things, are forever, and although they aren't tangible reminders, they are still remembered just as easily.

The truth is, we all die. Everyone has heard it. Everyone needs to understand it. This does not mean that there shouldn't be pain associated with death. It just means that we all must live the life we are given while it is still here. I have come to understand that my grandfather would not have wanted me to mourn forever. My grandfather would not have wanted for me to waste my life by putting it on hold because his time had come. Each of us has a time where we must go, but if that time is not today, then it is time to live for those who no longer do. I believe that nothing would have made my grandfather prouder than knowing I was going to allow myself to smile at the good times, and look forward to the special moments to come. Death is something we can't always prepare ourselves for, no matter how hard we try, but it is still important that we take life just as seriously as we take death. Our loved ones live on through their legacies that we carry on with every day that we decide to live our lives. They live on through the many memories we share of them. We know that they can never be forgotten, yet somehow, we still feel scared. We are scared because when we wake up, the house will feel emptier, and yes, that may be true, but what is gone is the skin and bones, and the physical anatomy; their words and imprint on us can never be erased, and that is really what a body embodies.

I will cry for my grandfather, I will miss him every day, but, for his sake, I will persevere. I will take every memory and, rather than wallow in his absence, I will be grateful for everything he has done to ensure that I will live my life to its fullest potential, just as he did. I will make him proud.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Swoon

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

Whether you are quarantining away from your significant other because of coronavirus or separated by the country lines at this time, it's fair to say that long-distance relationships are tough no matter what. However, there are ways to show love from a distance whether that's through daily FaceTime calls, cute Snapchats, or sexy pics sent to them on their phone. You can brighten up their day even more with some of these unique gifts that can fit any price range and a variety of interests.

Keep Reading... Show less

Rihanna is known for many things: her music, fashion, makeup, and now skincare. As a makeup artist myself, I can confidently say that she rocked the makeup world when she released her makeup line in 2017 and has been influencing the beauty world ever since.

Trying some of her makeup products myself, I know that she doesn't skimp on quality, and even though some of her products may be a little pricey, trust me, you get what you pay for.

Keep Reading... Show less

Friends, no one needs to be reminded that the COVID-19 pandemic rages on in the U.S. Frankly, this is because we have all collectively decided not to do the one simple thing that was asked of us and wear a mask.

I could make this a very boring article, and berate you with facts and statistics and the importance of wearing a mask, but I have opted against that for both of our sakes. Instead, I will attempt to reach you in another way. You might not care about a disapproving look from me, but from Nick Miller? Maybe that will be enough to change your mind.

Keep Reading... Show less

I don't want to point fingers or call anyone out, but it seems as though since the school year came to a close and summer officially started, more and more people began to care less and less about coronavirus (COVID-19).

I understand that eventually you have to get on with your life and cannot live in isolation forever, but people are still dying, cases are still increasing, and COVID is clearly not going anywhere for the time being.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Preview These Top Nordstrom Anniversary Sale 2020 Picks — From Luxury Purses To Skincare

Currently 3 million people viewing the Stella McCartney purse I absolutely must have.

Online shopping has been a guilty pleasure of ours for years, but now more than ever it's been a shopping lover's outlet for all our home redecorating projects and resort wear we're purchasing for that trip we had to cancel.

One of my favorite places to (virtually) window shop has always been Nordstrom. I admittedly can't afford to go on sprees there often, but I still get a high off of adding things to my cart I know I'll never actually end up buying. But sometimes, that's not enough — that's when I, like the masses of luxury-, beauty-, fashion-, and decor-lovers around the world count the days down to the annual Nordstrom Anniversary Sale.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Things That 'Shameless' Got Wrong About Bipolar Disorder

There is so much more than Ian and Monica lead viewers to believe.

"Shameless" is a hit television series that airs across the world, for my own personal viewing on Netflix. While the show is a major hit, people aren't talking about the issues in the portrayal in the "mental health" category. Ian and Monica are both pretty important characters with bipolar disorder (BD). There are, however, five major flaws with what their bipolar looks like.

Keep Reading... Show less

Dear Grandma,

I wish my words could adequately explain how much I miss seeing your smile and hearing your laugh. You were such a bright ray of sunshine in my life and now that you're gone, I can't help but remember all the times we had together.

Keep Reading... Show less

Bombshell news coming from Bachelor Nation today, Tayshia Adams is replacing Clare Crawley as the bachelorette!

Rumor has it that Clare found her person early on in the process and did not want to continue with the process of leading other men on throughout the season.

Keep Reading... Show less

- Though as a little girl, I had the silkiest, softest hair that would get compliments everywhere I went, since I turned about thirteen I've since had coarse, dry hair no amount of deep conditioning masks or sulfate-free shampoo could fix.

- I started using the Raincry's Condition Boar Bristle Brush several months ago, and while I noticed that my hair had been softer, silkier, and shinier than it had ever been, I didn't make the connection because I never thought a simple hairbrush could make any difference in my hair texture.

- I will be the first to admit that I thought it was ridiculous to spend nearly a hundred dollars on a hairbrush, but this one eliminates the need for me to use any heat tools or styling products on it.

- I put some oil or a serum in my hair when it's wet, brush my hair with the boar bristle brush once it's dry, and end up with the lowest maintenance, shiniest hair I've had since I was 8 years old.

@raincrybeauty

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments