Recently I’ve been battling with the idea of change. In May, I graduate. In June, my siblings leave to go to New York over the summer and in the fall, I start my graduate program.
Now, the idea of having my siblings move over the summer may not seem like something big, but for me it is. My twin sister and I have been apart for the longest, four days. We have lived together our entire lives, shared a room for most of it and are now roommates in college. My brother and I, on the other hand, are always away from each other. It doesn’t mean I won’t miss him like crazy — it is just something I have grown accustomed to.
In June, the two of them are moving in together. I am not only going to be lonely but experiencing major FOMO (fear of missing out) and jealousy as well. The reason I am not joining them on their journey to New York is that my life is taking a different path. I am happy, excited and fearful for what’s to come. But doesn’t that make it worth it? What’s life without doing things you’re afraid of? We can’t learn and grown any other way.
Truth is, old ways don't open new doors. So, bring it on.
Around August and September, I am moving out of my house and into an apartment with one of my best friends, something I am truly looking forward to.
This will help make my transition away from my sister easier (If all things go well in New York, her internship will extend throughout the year. Which is great for her, but excruciating for me.) I have significant separation anxiety if you haven't noticed.
On the bright side, I get to see my baby girl, Jovi (our family dog) as often as I want. Nothing cures anxiety faster than an emotional support dog.
As hard as this is going to be for me, I know that these changes are going to make me stronger. Here’s to the future and hoping it continues to scare the shit out of me. Because if it isn’t scary, it isn’t worth it.